Guide to Baby Pajamas

The temperatures are starting to dip in most places outside the tropics (in the Northern Hemisphere). If you have a baby or infant, you have probably gone out to buy or began to think about buying pajamas to keep your little one warm at night.  My son Clark was born in the Spring and we live in Vegas. Until very recently the temperature ranged from frying pan to the fire.  Clark rarely wore anything besides short sleeve onesies, even to sleep.  With Christmas fast approaching, the temperature in the desert has dropped significantly, especially at night.  So, now we put Clark to sleep in warm comfy jammies.

We've learned that not all pajamas are alike. Some are far more friendly to you as a parent than others.  Besides warmth, your biggest concern will be access.  When your baby wakes up in the darkest hours of the night and needs changing, you want the process to be as easy as possible.  So it is important to look for pajamas with easy access to the diaper.  This usually entails snaps/buttons that run at least from each of the the legs to the crotch. With that you can remove the offending diaper, wipe the butt, and put on the new diaper with as little hassle as possible.  Pajamas that force you to unzip the entire garment, then pull the legs out, mean you may have a cold baby while you're doing diaper management. You want quick access and minimum exposure to nighttime temperatures.  Lastly, get that baby back to sleep before he starts getting ideas about staying awake.

There are plenty of very cute pajamas with zippers or with snaps/buttons that only go up one leg.  They are mighty cute, but in the wee ours of the morning with a crying baby, you'll appreciate form over function.  This also works in reverse, if there is someone you don't like, buy cute pajamas for their kid with a convoluted design.  They'll think of you in their moment of despair.  I'm just kidding, don't do that.

     - Clark's Dad

Reverse Infant Separation Anxiety

The baby books say that parents should expect their children to begin showing signs of separation anxiety between 6 and 9 months old. When a child is left in the care of someone who is not their parent, even for a short amount of time, she may cry intensely fearing her parents may never return.  It's irrational to you as an adult, for the baby it's completely natural and rational.  The child is still developing an understanding of object permanence (think peekaboo and hide-and-seek) and parental attachment.

When leaving your child at daycare or with the sitter is the most likely time to notice this behavior.  This time of year, no one has more experience with it than mall Santas.   My son Clark is eight months old and a little different.  Fortunately or unfortunately, he hasn't really told me yet how he feels about it, I'm with my son nearly all his waking hours.  In the car, at home, play group, doctor's office, etc., daddy is rarely out of site while he's awake.  Perhaps he is starting to think, "hey, dad maybe you and I should try this separation thing out."

He loves strangers, perhaps a little too much.  The little ladies man, especially loves the ladies.  On the inconsistent days when I make it to the gym for MMA classes, I leave him with the ladies at the childcare facility there.  He loves it. (Bye, dad, I'm good!). No tears (yet) when I drop him off. In fact he seems to relish the attention.  He only cries when I come to pick him up and go home (Oh no, not him again!) He loves lunch at mommy's job, when he gets stolen away from us by the ladies there.  No complaints or anxiety (yet) from him, just blushing and cooing.   This month he has even been a good boy when it came to sitting on the Fat Man with the White Beard and Red Suit's lap. No tears, not even a funny look like, "Who's this guy, dad?!" 

Perhaps, I should just enjoy it while it lasts, knowing separation anxiety is on its way.  Or should I be concerned at how comfortable my son is with strangers (Reverse Separation Anxiety?).  No sense of stranger danger instinct.  Maybe he's sure that daddy will protect him from harm.  I'll let you know if and when separation anxiety kicks in.

    - Clark's Dad

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Product Review: Cosco Flat Fold High Chair - a Surpise Value

With all the co-pays and other costs adding up, as well as the thought of saving for college, my spending behavior has been quite parsimonious of late.  That's a fancy way or saying frugal, which is a fancy way of saying cheap or unwilling to spend money.

Once my son Clark was old enough for solids, I knew I would need a high chair, eventually.  However, I tried to fight it.  First, I tried feeding him in his Bumbo Baby Seat.  He would lean forward, instead of sitting up and back when eating.  So that didn't work.  I then tried feeding him in his child seat (not car seat).  Things went a little better, but I still felt I needed a tool designed for the job.  I needed a high chair but didn't want too spend much money on one.

I went to BRU, and thought I was looking at prices for thrones, instead of plastic chairs with trays designed for feeding babies.  Prices ranged from about $75 to $200.  Frustrated, I visited America's favorite big box store (it's also the most hated).  They carried many of the same models as BRU, maybe a little cheaper.  There was one that caught my eye, well, its price did. $30 (regular price) for a model from Cosco, not to be confused with Costco.

I don't think said big box store was too proud to offer this model, because the display model was hidden behind the others.  I took the effort to fight my way back there and pulled it out, placing it on the ground.  I compared it to the other models on display and my impression was that it did not feel sturdy, and not something I would feel safe putting my child in.  The construction felt like someone had repurposed an ironing board.

Getting the Toughest Baby to Take His Medicine

Unfortunately, my little boy, Clark, has had a reoccurring anal abscess (or butt bump) over the past three months. Each occurrence meant another 10 day round of antibiotics. With each round my son has become less of a good sport about taking his medicine. He's also becoming stronger and smarter as time goes on. He literally fights taking his medicine. Getting him to take his medicine is mission-critical turned mission: impossible.

So I've run the gambit of techniques and tricks to get an infant to take his medicine. Admittedly, Clark is a worst case scenario, so many of the techniques that did not work for him may work for other infants. Here's a run-down of the various techniques and tools I have come across and what worked on my little worst case scenario (if you have a code red medicine refuser too, feel free to skip to #6).

Techniques:

1. Put it in Milk:  I've had people recommend that I put Clark's medicine in 2 oz. of milk. The assumption is he won't notice the taste of the medicine in that much liquid. Perhaps, my lil guy is a future chef and has a highly developed palette (for an infant). I added his dose (1 tsp) of medicine to a bottle of milk (4 oz.).  He noticed it on the first sip. You could see the look of disgust on his face. He then refused to drink the rest of the milk. So we lost a dose of medicine and a bottle of breast milk. This works for most babies though.

2. Mix it in Food: If your child has already moved on to solid foods, you could mix his medicine in with his food. The pharmacist recommended mixing the antibiotic with rice cereal. The pink color (of the medicine, not cereal) would make it easy to see if your child had finished all the medicine. Unfortunately, making the rice cereal with (breast) milk, meant that mixing in the medicine, meant a waste of all three when Clark refused to eat it. My son had the same response as he did with medicine mixed in with his milk. He was displeased.

How Much to Protect My Son

Article first published as How Much to Protect My Child on Technorati. 

Buddha back when he was just known as Siddhartha Gautam, his father King Śuddhodana tried to shield him from all human suffering. That's a mighty challenge, especially since Siddhartha was married by age 16. Ah, teenage love. Once, he fatefully encountered human suffering during his travels, it was crushing and depressing. It drove him to an ascetic lifestyle and in search of enlightenment. 

I recently channeled the teachings of Buddha in my parenting.

Yesterday morning began like most others. I woke up and began making breakfast for my son Clark (a nice warm bottle) and myself (hard-boiled eggs and oatmeal). I left Clark square in the middle of the bed. He quite recently figured out  rolling. He can roll in either directions. He's still mastering his technique, so it's not exactly smooth, but he seems to have a great time doing it.  

I walked back to the bedroom, which isn't that far away, to check on Clark. I watched him continue to flip and roll ever closer to the edge. I realized there was a 99% chance that he was going to fall off the bed and onto the floor (about 12 inches below.) This was a watershed parenting moment. What kind of dad am I going to be? I had two choices. I could let him continue as he was and eventually fall or I could place him somewhere safe from harm for the time being.

Product Review: Best App to Track Your Baby

So I recently joined the 21st century, and got a "smarty" phone when I re-upped my cell phone contract.  An HTC Sensation, since you asked.  I don't know how I went so long without one.  My phone is probably more powerful than my grad school laptop I'm using to write this post.  Part of what makes smarty phones so smart is the apps or applications.

My wife and I had previously tried in vain to keep track of all of our son Clark's "achievements." By achievement I mean poops, pees, feedings, naps, weight, etc.  I'd say about half of his"achievements" were never logged.  Anything that happened in the dead of night was immediately forgotten to time.  Once I finally got a smarty phone, I figured there must be an "(Android) App for that."  I started with an app to track his sleeping, then moved on to trying out more comprehensive baby tracking apps.  Here is my assessment/review of the apps available.

Baby Care:

Baby Care is a perfectly fine free program.  It beats paper and pen by a mile. "This software is freeware (ad supported), and developed by a newborn parent and his team(LuckyXmobile)."

Do Not Wait Too Long to Dress Up Your Newborns and Infants

 

Admitted, I'm a sucker for cute baby clothes.  It's not unheard of for me to buy clothes for my baby or friends' babies because they were just too cute to pass by.  Damn you, Garanimals! I can't be the only one. Walmart uses this fact against me (and my ilk) by placing the cutest baby items along the main aisle.  I call it the "parent trap."

Besides what I was "trapped" into buying, my wife and I also received baby clothes as gifts.  By the time my son Clark was born, there were plenty of outfits we couldn't wait to take pictures of him wearing.  We imagined the places we would take those pictures, and how wonderful they would be.

Well, the problem is once your baby is born the clock on fitting into NB/0 or Newborn size starts ticking.  The size of your baby at birth is the biggest factors, but those newborns sure do grow quickly.  Before you know it, those super cute outfits are getting rather snug on your "little" one. 

There are going to be many sleep deprived nights once you bring home your new bundle of joy.  You are not going to want to go out anywhere.  Plus, many parents consciously choose to not leave the house with their new babies for quite a while.  There may be the occasional visitors that inspire you to dress up junior before he or she spits up or poops their way out of the outfit.   Therefore, there may not be very many occasions for you to dress up your little bundle in all those cute clothes you bought (or received).  There will definitely be fewer than you expect.

Clark wore mostly his short sleeve white onesies (it's hot in Vegas) around the house with a few cuter onesies in rotation.  He weighed over 8 lbs at birth.  He started outgrowing size NB at three weeks and 0-3 mo at around 2 months. 

So don't wait for special occasions to dress up your newborn.  If you do, you may find yourself with a closet or drawers full of the cutest baby clothes that your infant never got to where and are now too small.  Maybe, you can give them to an expectant friend or someone less fortunate.



     - Clark's Dad

Are Dads Better Poker Players?

On the surface you’d think that fatherhood and poker don’t play well together, as late nights out drinking beer with friends is often at odds with being a good dad. Appearances can be deceiving, however, as many professional poker players have credited fatherhood with one of the key factors that turned them into much better overall poker players. Whether you play online poker or primarily in live games, it’s likely that many of the lessons below can apply to you as well.

Patience: Poker is one of the few gambling games where skill determines the winners and losers instead of luck, but it’s hard to practice skill in a vacuum. Otherwise excellent poker players can be losing players in the long run if they’re impatience and don’t wait for opportune spots, and fatherhood is one of the very best ways for an impatient person to finally learn the value of being patient and taking things as they come.

A Greater Good: It’s much easier to take unnecessary chances when you’re young and single and no one else depends on you, behavior that often spills over to the poker tables and usually with negative effect. Many poker pros have said that it was only when they became a father that they were able to truly take the money involved seriously and to begin treating poker like any other career. Like any skill, consistently winning at poker takes lots of research, study, and practice, and that dedication often comes easier when you know others are counting on you to succeed.

Maximizing Your Poker Time: The limitless time you had for poker before fatherhood suddenly dwindles down, with it being harder and harder to find hours and hours to spend playing in poker tournaments or cash games. On the bright side, some players find they’re sharper and more focused when they do get a pass to play poker, as they know they need to make every opportunity count now more than ever.

     - Andy's Dad

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Andy´s dad is a professional poker player that has a passion for writing in his free time.

Honey It's Time: Rushing to the Hospital!

Lucy: Ricky, this is it!
Ricky: This is it!  This is it!  This is it! 

Hilarity and delirium ensues!  Ricky, Fred and Ethel run around like headless chickens.  They all simultaneously try to call the doctor, hail the taxi cab, and retrieve Lucy's hospital bags.  They run out of the house leaving Lucy behind, before coming back to get her. Classic comedy gold! They then all proceed to rush Lucy to the hospital.

I've been told this was the first "television birth and delivery (1950s TV style)." Thus, television's first "hurry up we have to get to the hospital, the baby is coming" moment.  Perhaps we have Desi and Lucy to thank for this fallacy.

The third thing we learned in the my labor and delivery class was that we could let go of that preconceived idea.  There will probably be no need to "rush" to the hospital.  Under normal circumstances, you will have hours, not minutes to get mommy safely to the hospital.

(That went double or quadruple for me, since the hospital is only 5 blocks away - maybe a mile a so.  In fact, we could have used to the walk to help jump start cervix dilation, if that was a good idea.  And if you read my previous post "Contractions Starting! Don't Go for a Walk!" then you already know it's not.)

Signs That You Need to Change a Newborn's Diaper

As a new dad,  if your baby is breast-fed, you will probably be surprised that that your baby's soiled diapers don't stink. They smell more "funny" than bad, and the smell can be very faint. Sorry, formula dads, you don't get this benefit. Without the smell, how do you now when to change the diaper?

Diapers are not transparent and don't have indicators like changing colors (which would be cool). Before you set your baby on the changing table or other baby furniture, it can be difficult for new dads to know when their newborn has wet or soiled their diaper.

Here are a few signs to look for

1. There's what I refer to as the baby cod piece.  If a baby wets his diaper, the modern super absorbent diaper soaks up the liquid and swells up.  The baby then appears to have a cod piece on.


2. A funny smell, which you will eventually recognize as the smell of (breast fed) baby poop, is a strong indicator of a soiled diaper.


3. The sign requiring the most immediate attention is any poop trying to make an escape from the diaper.  The most likely escape routes are the top back of the diaper and around the legs.


4. Crying, accompanied by one or more of the above.


5. Sounds of flatulence, squirting, or wet bubbling coming from inside the diaper

If you think your baby has wet or soiled their diaper, don't change it right away. You probably want to wait at least 5 minutes.  Baby may be mid pee or poop. Changing the diaper at the moment may result in you getting peed or pooped on in the process.  You may have to change the diaper again because someone wasn't finished before you put on a new diaper.

     - Clark's Dad

The Baby Photography Scam

A photographer's job is to take pictures.  Am I right? You pay them to perform a service, the service of taking pictures. Why do the photographers retain the rights to images of me or my child?  They then ransom additional copies of those images to you.  Images that you have already paid him or her to take.  Some may sell you the rights [to print] (for an additional charge) to those picture, many will not.  Wal-mart and many other photo labs require a letter granting you authorization to reprint YOUR photos taken by professional photographers.

Everyone wants pictures of the biggest events of their life, which usually includes their wedding and their children growing up.  My wife and I had a photographer at our wedding.  The photographer was part of our wedding package.  I didn't learn the  photography business model until after the wedding.  You can pick out a few pictures as part of your photo package. If you want additional copies of those pictures or prints of any of the other pictures taken, you must order them from the photographer. Most wedding photographers will refuse to sell you the negatives until at least a year after the wedding.  Baby photographers have a similar model, but most will sell you the negatives or digitals when you purchase their premium-est of packages.  For this reason, my wife and I have mainly avoided baby pictures taken by professional photographers.

Admittedly, this type of arrangement may have made since before digital photography and before you could have film developed at the grocery store.  Unless you had your own dark room to develop film, the photographer was the obvious and often only choice to obtain copies of your pictures.  Holding on to the negatives/originals just facilitated things.  Film costs money, so does photo paper and the chemicals used to develop film and make prints.  However, with digital, there is no film. The cost of storage for each pictures if marginally zero.  Anyone can take their pictures to FotoMat (just kidding, there hasn't been a FotoMat booth in probably two decades) or have them printed from online.  This is even if one wants actual prints instead of just the digitals, which can be posted and shared on Facebook or other social media sites or placed in digital picture frames.

I have a programming background.  If you're hired for a contract job or have a long term employer, whatever you produce while on that job, including the intellectual property (IP) rights, belongs to the company that paid you. You were paid to perform a service (creating a program or code). You don't own it, the employer does.  If you use a Realtor to find a house, she doesn't get to maintain possession of the house and charge you rent to live there.  She was paid for the service of finding you a house only.

Product Review: Ear Peace

Recently, the Dads had the opportunity to try out an interesting new product (new to us) called Ear Peace. 

I hate to admit it, but I'm getting old, not "grown and sexy," mind you, just old. If you don't know what "grown and sexy" means, ask your Black friends. However, If you're reading this, I probably am your Black friend*. So try urban dictionary.  The signals abound regarding my descent into old age. Two outstanding examples that come to mind are the last time I attended a live concert (Skull Candy Pool Stage @ The Hard Rock Hotel) and the last time I went to a dance Club (Rain @ the Palms Casino).  Both events brought the same thought to mind: "Boy, the music is really loud.  You think they could turn it down a bit?  Maybe we should leave early!"  Classic sign of "oldmanery."  

Back to Ear Peace, cute name, right?  Sound like something you put in your ear, so you can ignore your family and anything else that annoys you when you get home from work. The Ear Peace is technically a set of ear plugs, but to be be cliche, "not your father's ear plugs."  You do place them in your ears, but that's where the similarities stop.

Traditional ear plugs block sound, they're ostentatious, and far from aesthetically pleasing.  The Ear Peace doesn't block sound, it dampens it, but not in the same way as traditional plugs.  The sound you hear isn't muffled, it's transformed.  What you hear is more vivid, cutting out "noise" and distracting background sounds, focusing on what you're trying to hear.  I'm not an ear science major, so I don't know why or how they work, but they do make what you're listening to sound better.  They don't block annoying sounds (crying babies, noisy neighbors, etc.) but makes them sound far less annoying. 

The Ear Peace is smaller than traditional ear plugs. They are easily inserted and removed from the ears. Ear Peace comes in three different shades (vanilla, caramel, and chocolate) to match your complexion, instead of the usual white and construction orange. They blend in and can probably go unnoticed to the unobservant, unlike most ear plugs.  Ear Peace also comes with a sleek carrying case, which is way better than a paper towel, which most people use to carry their ear plugs.

We've Been Nominated

  

My Dad Experience has been nominated for Most Valuable Blogger (MVB) in the Lifestyle & Family Category.

The contest is sponsored by the local Las Vegas CBS affiliate (KLAS) and News Radio KXNT 100.5 FM.  So if you have a moment to spare, we'd appreciate your support. Vote here.

Voting is now closed. Thanks for your support.

-The Dad

Reflections on the World My Son Was About to Enter

Just before and just after my son Clark's birth, I had several encounters with strangers that left me wondering what I should or would do in a similar situation in the future.  There were three encounters and each involved a vagrant or panhandler.

The first incident occurred a few weeks before Clark's birth.  Clark's Mom and I were walking down the Las Vegas strip on a warm Spring Sunday morning.  Clark's mom was obviously showing at 9 months pregnant.  She was wearing a custom t-shirt with our last name on the front and mommy on the back with a number like a softball jersey.  We walked pass a woman on the sidewalk with her young daughter beside her.  She was holding a sign (with wording I can't remember) and panhandling.  

My wife was greatly disturbed by the encounter. She told me that she felt bad flaunting her pregnancy with the t-shirt, while another woman was so desperate as to panhandle with here child at her side. I found the child being involved distasteful.  It didn't really bother me too much, as there was no direct contact and we had passed a number of other panhandlers on our walk.

Mere hours before Clark was born, my wife, in early labor, and I visited a certain big box retailer - O.K. "The Big Box retailer."  We were finishing last minute (literally) preparation of the nursery. As we exited the car, we were approached by a young woman holding a little girl. She then said, "Can i ask you a question?"  Coming from a stranger, I knew this conversation was not heading anywhere positive.  The question was, "Could I spare $5?"

The "Big Box Store" was in a pretty nice neighborhood, but starting at $5 was pretty ballsy for a panhandler.  They normally ask for spare change or maybe a dollar.  I responded that I didn't have any cash on me (because I don't usually carry any).  She then went on to solicit others in the parking lot.  As she walked away, I could hear the little girl had a bad hacking cough, but that's not what the woman was requesting assistance for.  It probably should have been.  I felt very bad for the little girl.  Admittedly, being directly accosted made the situation feel more personal. 

Distraction: King of Parenting Tricks

In my last post, I began a discussion of ways to outsmart your children.  I discussed "The Big Baby Bath" and now I'll get into "Distraction."

In my opinion, distraction is the king of parenting tricks.  It's a way to get a child (and even adults) to do what you want them to do or to stop doing what you don't want them to do.  According to Keyser Soze [the Usual Suspects], "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."  The greatest trick a parent ever learns is how to distract their children.

Here are a few examples:

1) I previously mentioned that I often use "The Big Baby Bath Theory" to accomplish cutting my son's nails.  If he's not already crying, my only option to keep it that way while cutting his nails is to distract him.  Usually, a pacifier will get the job done.  Same baby, same nails, same clippers - without the pacifier he's crying. With the pacifier, he could care less that I'm cutting his nails (and diverts far more attention to finding if that's Phineas and Ferb on the TV).

2) My son Clark is not a big fan of "Tummy Time (T-Time)." After a few minutes he'll start crying.  Since the "experts" say T-Time is so important, I needed to find a way to get him to put more time into it.  So, I distract the hell out of him.  There's plush toys, rattles, pillows, a motion activated music player, mirrors and of course his pacifier all on the mat with him for distraction.  He went from 2 or 3 minutes to about 30 straight minutes of T-Time with no tears.

3) Plan on taking young children on a long car trip?  You better bring iPods, smart phone apps, portable DVD players, coloring books and anything else you can think of that will keep them distracted in the back seat. Distractions will keep the cabin of the car free of "I'm bored" and "Are we there yet?"

Two Degrees vs. One Baby. Am I Smarter Than an Infant?

No relation to "The Family Freud"

I have an MBA and an undergraduate degree in Psychology.  In an effort to feel that I got my money's worth, I sometimes use some of the theories I learned and apply them to real life situations. Lately, I have tried a few out on my son Clark.  My two favorite tricks ... errr!!! ... theories to use are 1)  the "Big Baby Bath" - my own version of the "Big Bath Theory*" and "Reverse Positive Reinforcement" and 2) distraction, which I'll describe in a future article.

The former goes something like this: Clark starts to cry for whatever reason.  (Light bulb) Now is a good time to do things to him that are necessary, but that he doesn't like, things that usually make him cry.  Why?  Because he's already crying.

E.g., Clark starts crying, let's say he's hungry.  While the milk is warming up, it's now a great time to cut his nails.  What's he gonna do? Cry? Too late.  I figure this strategy will work when he gets older as well.  It should cut down on whining and wise-assery as he reaches those tween years.  Picture this, "Daaaad, it's so unfair that I have to rake all the leaves in the backyard.  You're right, son.  By the way, you need to clean the gutters and finish your homework too."  

He was going to cry or complain about each of those things individually, why not get all the crying and whining out of the way in one shot?

Which Mom Knows Best: Yours or Your Child's?

I know more about babies than you!!!

There is no more epic battle that a new dad will find himself than an "un-Civil" War between a new mom and her mother-in- law.  Altercations between a new mom and her mother can also be "un-Civil", but the dad won't be caught in the middle.  In fact if he knows what's good for him, he better always stand behind his wife in skirmishes with her mother.  However, when shots are fired between the woman you married and the woman who raised you, it's going to get pretty uncivilized and quick.  No time more so than when it come to how to take care of a newborn baby.

Here's the context:  Grandma has raised at least one child (dad) or more to adulthood and believes she did a pretty good job of it.  Dad survived didn't he?  The problem is Grandma hasn't had to care for a baby for at least 20 years and things have changed. (E.g., newborns shouldn't sleep on their backs or have their skin exposed to sunshine at length, moms have the option to breast feed, use  formula or pump breast milk, etc.) Grandma may be more susceptible to old wives' tales and old world child rearing practices.

Your wife is probably a professional and well educated woman.  She is used to making independent decisions based on the latest medical facts and findings.  She's probably taken (and brought dad along) to several baby preparation classes.  So she may never have raised a baby before, but she has armed herself with latest and best practices and techniques.

Both Mom and Grandma want the best for baby, but have different paradigms and experiences.  If you (dad) are lucky, it is merely a difference of opinion.  If you are not, they may be playing out a power play with you and the baby caught in the middle dodging mortar shells.

I'm not sure have any suggestions to solve this dilemma.  My mom likes my wife more than she likes me, so I've never been caught between the two.

So if you're a dad in this situation, what to do? 
Suggestions?

     -  Clark's Dad

Don't Let Your Parents Screw Up Your Kids

Grandparents will screw up your kids and then give them back to you to fix.  Um, what's up with that? Everyone accepts that grandparents spoil their grandchildren.  It's expected. I figured this would include too much candy (mostly of the hard variety), cookies, junk food and birthday cake.  Plus, socks and underwear for Christmas (at least that's how it works on TV.)  I had no idea it would turn into a tactical assault on my child rearing efforts.

My son Clark is by most standards a good baby.  He has a very laid back personality.  Not a lot of crying.  It's seems his grandmothers may think he's making it too easy on us as parents, and have taken efforts to make raising him more of a challenge. Perhaps, it's payback for our rebellious adolescent behaviors so long ago. Perhaps, it's to test our parenting chops.

Case in point:

Clark's maternal grandma came to visit a few days after he was born.  It was very nice of her to drive all the way from LA to see the new baby.  She held Clark for about four hours straight (spoiling him) before leaving.  Then, as she put Clark down, because she was about to leave, he began to cry.  She then told us, we had a spoiled baby and shouldn't hold him so much.  Then she left, leaving us with a crying "spoiled" baby.

Insuring Your Baby's Future Can be Expensive

Everyone knows that babies can be expensive.  Various internet and non-internet sources claim that it will cost over $200,000* to raise a child to age 18 (college tuition not included.)  I doubt the costs are linear, but that averages to over $11,000 per year.  Costs like diapers, food, clothing and furniture immediately come to mind, but there are plenty of hefty expenses that you might not have thought of.

How about insurance? Let's start with health insurance.  The additional cost of adding my son, Clark, to my wife's health insurance is about $250/month (plus co-pays).  That's the equivalent of a lot of diapers.  The irony is my wife works for a health insurance company.

Don't forget all the other insurances.  You may not have needed life insurance before you had a child, but it's probably a good idea now.  If you're relatively healthy and in your 30s, a decent policy should run between $30 and $50 per month for each parent (or at least each working parent).   You'll need to choose between whole or term life.  Be careful not to get too much insurance.  You never want to be worth significantly more dead than alive**.

There's also home or renter's insurance.  Before Clark was conceived, I was not that concerned about what a loss of possessions would mean.  However, the thought of him without any toys, crib or baby necessities was/is quite disturbing.  So now I need to add renter's insurance.  That's another $30 a month.  I'm also wondering if I need to increase my auto insurance policy now that he's in the car. You know, just in case.  That all adds up to a lot of "just in case money" each month.  To quote "The Homeboys" from In Living Color, "Mo money, mo money, mo money!"

The Downside of My Baby Sleeping Through the Night

Every sleep deprived parent dreams of the day their child will sleep through the night. However, so far it's not exactly how I imagined it would be. Until recently, my wife was waking up every two hours during the night to feed our big, hungry, growing baby boy.  She hasn't slept through the night since labor pains first began.  Wondering when our son Clark would finally sleep through the night has been the subject of many conversations and internet searches.

A few days ago, I came across a copy of American Baby magazine from a couple of months ago (May) in the growing magazine pile on my coffee table.  I found gold on page 55, an article by Cara Birnbaum, titled Goodnight Nobody.  Unfortunately, the article isn't available on the magazine's website (or I'd share it with you).  What I learned from the article is that there is something called the "Drowsiness Window."  The article suggested that babies are programmed to fall asleep for the night within this window.  However, this window starts early, like before you get home from work early (5-7 PM) .  According to the article, if you miss the "Drowsiness Window" your baby will start to produce "stimulating chemicals" which will make it much more difficult for him to fall asleep later.

It was suggested that a 7 PM to 7 AM night of sleep was quite feasible for a 12 week old.  Well, it worked.  Mostly.  Clark isn't sleeping through the entire night. We put him to sleep at 7 PM. My wife tops him off before she goes to sleep (10:30).  He wakes up to eat at 2 AM and then my wife feeds him again at 6 AM before going to work.

We, and by we I mean my wife, now only have to wake up once during the night instead of 3-4 times.  This will probably be down to zero by the time he turns 4 months.  So, what's the problem?

Baby Furniture Wars: the Basics (Crib, Dresser and the Glider)

Alejandra's Dad has joined the Baby Furniture Wars Series:

Unless you live in a 5,000 SF mansion adding a new baby to your household comes with a certain amount of displacement. If you're not sure what 'displacement' means; think of a full glass of water... in order to add another drop, some water has to spill over the side. In my case, my stuff spilled out of the house and into boxes in the garage.

_______________________________

There are 3 key furniture pieces necessary for a baby's room. They are a crib, dresser and glider. (Sure, you can have more .. but these are the essentials and the ones that you'll have to negotiate into a standard room.)

Crib:

Choices - New or Used? Drop side or not?

We opted for a hand-me-down crib. I figured any piece of furniture that has survived the upbringing of another child, would survive mine. Plus, the price was right. The biggest issue with the hand-me-down crib was the 'drop-down' side which apparently was designed with the best intentions in mind for ease of loading and unloading of a baby into the crib without sacrificing your lower ribs in the process (assuming you haven't had your bottom two ribs removed for 'professional' purposes).

Leaning over a crib may be a bit uncomfortable; however, you may want to take this opportunity to start training for you new role as caregiver by easing up on the cheeseburgers and maybe one less six-pack per week and maybe try lifting up a bag of groceries a few times. This will get you in prime shape for lifting a baby from the crib and may buy you a year or two to see your kid graduate college or maybe get married. Practically speaking, having to lean over a normal crib height side railing is not the end of the world. It helps that when your baby is a few weeks old and ready to graduate from the bassinet to the crib the mattress height will be closer to the top of the railing so you don't have to lean as far.

Baby Furniture Wars: Mobiles (Wind Up vs. Battery Operated)

This is a continuation of our series on Baby Furniture Wars.  If you've made the decision of Playard vs. Crib and chosen playard, you are probably going to want to look into getting a compatible mobile that spins without you standing there all day.  This is my story:

Clark usually sleeps in his Graco Pack 'n Play playard. It came with a mobile.  Three plush (pastel green) turtles hang from the mobile.  Clark has loved those turtles every since he came home from the hospital, especially when they spin.  I can't stand there all day and spin the mobile, even if that's what Clark would prefer. It took me a few weeks, but I realized we needed a mobile that spun on its own.  Such a thing has to exist for a playard, I can't be the first one to think of this.

Babies 'R Us (BRU) would have had an easy sale had they made me aware of the existence of such a product for our playard at the time we bought it.  I was left to my own parental devices to discover the need for a self propelled/spinning mobile and to find a suitable mobile to address the problem.  I did an internet search and found mostly products that were no longer being sold.  I finally found exactly ONE product that fit the description and was available for sale online, the Tiny Love Take-Along Mobile.  Internet rumors abounded about OEM models, but I couldn't find any available for sale online.

My next step was to head out to Toys 'R Us (TRU) because their website sold that mobile model online.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find it at my local TRU or BRU stores, though they sold other models by the same manufacture. It was rather frustrating.  I purchased Clark's playard from BRU.  They sell hundreds, if not thousands, per month.  How could they not carry a moving mobiles designed for them? I couldn't be the only who wanted one.

Product Review: Tiny Love Take-Along Mobile

My experience with the Take-Along Mobile was directly related to my need for a self-spinning mobile for my PNP playard.

Review: Tiny Love Take-Along Mobile

Standing next to Clark's playard and spinning the mobile was getting tired.  I realized I needed a mobile that spun on its own.  I couldn't be the first one to recognize their playard needed a self-propelled mobile.  So I looked for a solution online. To my surprise, solutions were far and few in between.  Most were for products that could no longer be found in-stock anywhere.

To make a long story short, if you want a battery operated* mobile compatible with your playard, there is only one choice: the Take-Along Mobile from Tiny Love.  I looked all over the internet for alternatives with no success.  In fact neither BRU or any of the big box stores carry that model.  Online seems to be the only option, but feel free to check around. 

 Update: 07/30/2011 - on a recent trip to BRU, I noticed that they now carry this mobile in the store.

Pros:

• It's basically the only option for a battery powered mobile for a playard.
• It's compatible for not only playards and traditional cribs, but also some infant carrier/car seats and strollers

Dear Dads, You're Gonna Cry Like a Bitch

It is just another example of how fatherhood differs from how it is portrayed on TV and in movies.  If you're about to be a dad, especially for the first time, you are going to be standing there one moment (probably counting or yelling push) and the next thing you know there will be tears rolling down your eyes.  A new life will enter the world and your tear ducts will drain.  You might not see it coming.  You won't be able to hide it or hold it back.  It's going to happen, so don't be surprised.  I was.  No one told me this ahead of time.

Don't get upset.  It's O.K.  It would be more likely something was wrong if you didn't cry.  Not to be irreverent, but I assume the emotion is similar to what God must have felt after he created the World and it was good.

For how He must may have felt the day after watch  The Simpsons - Tree House of Horror VII: Genesis Tub (Season 8: Episode 1) in which Lisa created life and had to deal with the consequences.  The Simpsons nerds out there know what I'm talking about.

     - Clark's Dad

Baby Furniture Wars: Cribs vs Playards vs. Bassinets

During the process of nesting, when moms and dads are furnishing and decorating the living space for their new baby, one decision parents must make is what will the baby sleep in.  Some parents choose the traditional baby crib with its furniture like feel and weight.  Others choose a playard/travel crib, a bassinet or simply place the baby into the parents' bed.  Some babies even wind up sleeping in swings and rockers.  However, for most parents it comes down to a decision between crib, playard or bassinet.

I actually know a family who owns all three baby sleeping devices, but my guess is that's rare.  Here is a comparison of those three choices (in alphabetical order).  There is no choice that's perfect for everyone, so each parent will need to make their own final decision.

Bassinet:

Size: small, about half the size of a traditional crib.  They tend to be very cozy and provide an intimate feel for the baby.  Unfortunately, because of the small size babies often outgrow the bassinet by 3 months of age and parents are once again in the market for something for their baby to sleep in at night.

Features:  they rock - literally.  You can rock your baby to sleep in one.

Price:  about half the price of a traditional crib.

Product Review: Graco Pack 'n Play Playard (Dempsey)

This purchases was the result of the my Crib vs. Playard decision.

Review: Graco Pack 'n Play Playard (Dempsey)

The Graco Pack 'n Play (or PNP) Playard is a hybrid.  Playards are generally hybrids of a crib and a play pen.  The PNP (Dempsey) is a quadruple threat: it is a combination of a crib, play pen, changing station and storage bins.  It also folds up easily for travel.  In my opinion the Graco PNP is the RAZR.  It's the best product for the money.  The comparable or alternative is to pay for a dresser, a changing station, baby crib, a mattress, bumpers, a mobile, a play pen, and a travel crib. The PNP is an excellent choice, even more so if you are short on space or cash.

Features:

• The Crib:
• a good alternative to purchasing a traditional crib.  There are two levels for the mattress, which can be adjusted as the baby gets bigger or is able to stand up.  
• The mattress is a good compromise between soft and firm.  
• When the "mattress" is at its highest level, there is a two-by-two storage area consisting of four cubbyholes.
• Can easily be moved from room to room, unlike a traditional crib that would require substantial disassembly and reassembly

• Changing Table:
• Comes with a space-saving baby changing attachment.  
• However, short on space there is no easily accessible place for baby changing necessities like wipes and diapers.  
• Only holds up to 20 lbs.

• Travel Crib: 
• Easily folds up into a   30" x 10" x 10" travel case. 
• You could break this thing down and fold it up in under a minute.

• Mobile:
• Comes with a mobile (three turtles) that spins (manually) and attaches quite well to the side of the playard.

Our First Father's Day (Part 2)

This is the second part of a two part post co-written by Clark's Dad and Alejandra's Dad. | ... Part 1

Alejandra's Dad:

Like a couple of my buddies and especially Clark's Dad, this is my first 'Father's Day' being on the receiving end. I woke up to a quiet house (Alejandra slept in, my #1 most awesome Father's Day present), and I had a chance to check the social media feed for my business.  I figured the obligatory 'Happy Father's Day' message would be a good way to maintain traffic, but as I sat there laptop open I realized the meaning behind those three little words.  So I wrote the phrase: "To those that have earned it: Happy Father's Day!"

You see, this morning I had a moment to reflect on the past 7 months of me being a Dad.  I realized that even though it may be my 'rookie card' Father's Day; there are many father's being recognized for decades of dedication to the craft, it is a moment to realize that being a Father is much more than a primal grunt at the right time of the ovulation cycle.  It is a daily dedication to love, support, discipline, encourage, inspire and love some more.

As a sign of the times, social media has allowed us to share with the world what before was perhaps shared in a card privately or among immediate family. Now, I can read the sentiments of many of my friends about their Dads. Old, young and in between.  I  can sense the ones that may have had a good relationship with their father, a  temporarily rocky one, or none at all.  I can then make make inferences on how important my role is in Alejandra's life and how it may impact her personality and future relationships.  I mean... I am the father of a little girl... if she grows up to have 'daddy issues'... that's on me!  No pressure.

A half-hour after I woke, Alejandra woke up and her mom brought her out to wish me a Happy Father's Day.  Coincidentally, yesterday was the day Alejandra decided to have her first 'baby monologue'.  The moment when she started stringing together baby sounds and mumbles followed by uncontrollable laughter!  She started this morning in similar manner, babbling and babbling and smiling... and I realized that the house would probably never be quiet again....(and I was happy) until she left for college...(and I was sad).

So, to all the Dad's out there: Happy Father's Day!  To those that earn it: every, single, day.

   | ... Part 1

     - Alejandra's Dad

Our First Father's Day

This is the first part of a two part post co-written by Clark's Dad and Alejandra's Dad. | Part 2

Happy (first) Father's Day

Clark's Dad:

Today is my first Father's Day as a dad.  It is also the first Father's Day that ever meant anything to me.  My father was not around (much) when I was growing up.  He then died in a car accident before I finished high school.

I saw my dad as many times as I have fingers on my one hand.  So I've never had a father figure guide my path into manhood or fatherhood, except on TV.  I'm pretty sure that's what inspires me to be a really active father to Clark.  I guess I try to be the father to him that I always wanted.  That's also probably why I have a blog dedicated to how real life and fatherhood differs from from what you see on the screen.

This year I found myself asking for the first time, "Hey, when is Father's Day?"  I assume most people know the answer. I mean, everyone knows when Mother's Day is.   Father's day was once a reminder of what I didn't have, now it's a celebration of what I do have, my son Clark.

When I first went to write this post I grabbed Clark and figured I'd write with one hand, while the reason for the season sat on my lap.  In real life, not TV, it didn't workout like I'd pictured it.  At 8 weeks old he wasn't that interested.  He preferred to go back to sleep in his baby swing and poop his diaper.  Well, that was until he got hungry.

How I'd Breast Feed, If I Was a Mom

In Breast Feeding Is Magic, I started talking about breast feeding.  I continue that discussion here:

The most frequent question at my house is, "Why is Clark crying?" The answer is almost always "because he's hungry."  The follow-up question is "is he getting enough milk? He just ate!"

Doctors and nurses have told us the only good indicators of an infant's health are 1) is the baby gaining weight, 2) is the baby pooping enough, 3) is the baby peeing enough (and what color), and finally, 4) no fever.  Well, even with his spitting up, and crying and growth spurts, check, check, check and check.

Clark's putting on weight pretty well (from 8 lbs 4oz to 13 lbs in 7 weeks).  He's pooping and peeing plenty (diaper companies are happy about that I'm sure.) And finally, no fever. So he's doing well. He must be getting enough milk to grow big and strong.

My wife is more of a trooper than I am or would be.  Convinced of the superiority of breast milk over formula, Clark's mom has chosen to breastfeed.  Clark used to eat every two hours.  So Clark's mom could maybe catch 2 hours of continuous sleep once in a while.  Recently, he must of snuck (not a real word, blah blah blah) one of my Men's Health Magazines and read the articles about eating smaller meals to boost metabolism while increasing muscle gain.

Clark now gets hungry pretty much every 60 minutes and the boy is getting big.  That means if his poor mother is trying trying to sleep, she still has to wake up every hour to feed him.  Bless her soul, I couldn't do it.  I try to take him off her hands and let her try to get some sleep, but I can only do that if there is some pumped milk in the fridge.

If I was breast-feeding, I'd just pump and feed the baby from a bottle.  Much like formula, that would free me up to occasionally get a good night's sleep.  All the benefits of breast milk with the flexibility of formula bottle feeding.  However, I understand that a certain bonds develops within the intimacy of breast-feeding between mother and baby.  Not being a milk producer myself, I can only admire that bond.  I do think my wife wouldn't mind trading that bond in temporarily for a few hours of sleep.

     - Clark's Dad

Breast Feeding is Magic

Breast feeding resembles magic, not illusion, slight of hand or misdirection, actual magic.  This is mostly because of the black box that is a woman's breast.  Basically, you can't see what's going on in there.  Milk just appears.  You don't really understand how they work, they just do.  They didn't used to have milk in them, now they do.  One day they won't anymore. Ta-Da!!!

As far as breast-feeding goes, the problem is that there is really important information that is unavailable to you:

How much milk is in there?

How long does it take to refill?

and most important:

How much milk did the baby just drink?

With bottle feeding you get all of this information.

Sometimes Clark cries like he's starving and hasn't been fed all week, when he's just eaten ten minutes ago.  Clark's Mom doesn't know if he just hasn't gotten any milk (is there any milk in there?) or just hungry again, maybe a growth spurt.  It's so frustrating.  Sometimes when this happens, I'll offer him some pumped milk in a bottle.  Sometimes he'll chug it down like a starving baby in the desert, other times, he turns it down (no thanks, I'm not hungry) -  Why are you crying, then?! Why you cryin'?

It would be awesome if mother's breasts were transparent or had gauge like the gas tank in your car.  Unfortunately, they don't.  It's just magic. The milk just comes out and your baby (yes, your baby, not you dad) drinks until he stops.  But did he stop because he was full or because the pump was empty.  Does he need a burping?  Arrrgggghhh!

     - Clark's Dad