Reflections on the World My Son Was About to Enter

Just before and just after my son Clark's birth, I had several encounters with strangers that left me wondering what I should or would do in a similar situation in the future.  There were three encounters and each involved a vagrant or panhandler.

The first incident occurred a few weeks before Clark's birth.  Clark's Mom and I were walking down the Las Vegas strip on a warm Spring Sunday morning.  Clark's mom was obviously showing at 9 months pregnant.  She was wearing a custom t-shirt with our last name on the front and mommy on the back with a number like a softball jersey.  We walked pass a woman on the sidewalk with her young daughter beside her.  She was holding a sign (with wording I can't remember) and panhandling.  

My wife was greatly disturbed by the encounter. She told me that she felt bad flaunting her pregnancy with the t-shirt, while another woman was so desperate as to panhandle with here child at her side. I found the child being involved distasteful.  It didn't really bother me too much, as there was no direct contact and we had passed a number of other panhandlers on our walk.

Mere hours before Clark was born, my wife, in early labor, and I visited a certain big box retailer - O.K. "The Big Box retailer."  We were finishing last minute (literally) preparation of the nursery. As we exited the car, we were approached by a young woman holding a little girl. She then said, "Can i ask you a question?"  Coming from a stranger, I knew this conversation was not heading anywhere positive.  The question was, "Could I spare $5?"

The "Big Box Store" was in a pretty nice neighborhood, but starting at $5 was pretty ballsy for a panhandler.  They normally ask for spare change or maybe a dollar.  I responded that I didn't have any cash on me (because I don't usually carry any).  She then went on to solicit others in the parking lot.  As she walked away, I could hear the little girl had a bad hacking cough, but that's not what the woman was requesting assistance for.  It probably should have been.  I felt very bad for the little girl.  Admittedly, being directly accosted made the situation feel more personal. 

Finally,  mere minutes after my son was born, with him and my wife asleep, I walked across the street to grab a McBreakfast.  My wife and I had breakfast there the previous weekend. I had noticed a guy who looked "homeless." He had a sleeping bag, a backpack and a dirty "wife beater" with matching beard.  He was sitting at a table next to the door.  Well, that morning I saw the same guy sitting in the same place, as if he'd never moved.  During both visits, I never saw him eat a bite of food.

I wanted a sausage muffin combo. Since I ordered by number and not description, I instead received a McHam muffin.  I don't eat ham, so I had to place another order.  While I was waiting for my replacement sandwich, I figured I would be nice and offer the hammy sammy  to someone who could use a bite to eat.  I approached to ask if he would like my extra sandwich.  Suddenly, I felt like I was on a 90's talk show, because he gave me "the hand," as in "talk to the ..."  WHAT!  The homeless dude that i was trying to help did me like that?  Really?

 

From weeks to his birth, to hours before and after, these incidents left me wondering what kind of world was my son entering.  What kind of person did I want him to grow up to be?  How did I want him to respond to his fellow man or woman in need?  Were those panhandlers just scamming for drug money?  Were they actually looking for money for food (or whatever they said)?  Would any money I gave to them actually help resolve the situation that they were in or just enable them to continue a destructive lifestyle for another day? What is the right thing to do?  Those are things I've been mentally wrestling with since my son Clark was born. 

Readers: what do you do when you encounter a panhandler or a "homeless" person asking for money?

     - Clark's Dad