Dear Dads, You're Gonna Cry Like a Bitch

It is just another example of how fatherhood differs from how it is portrayed on TV and in movies.  If you're about to be a dad, especially for the first time, you are going to be standing there one moment (probably counting or yelling push) and the next thing you know there will be tears rolling down your eyes.  A new life will enter the world and your tear ducts will drain.  You might not see it coming.  You won't be able to hide it or hold it back.  It's going to happen, so don't be surprised.  I was.  No one told me this ahead of time.

Don't get upset.  It's O.K.  It would be more likely something was wrong if you didn't cry.  Not to be irreverent, but I assume the emotion is similar to what God must have felt after he created the World and it was good.

For how He must may have felt the day after watch  The Simpsons - Tree House of Horror VII: Genesis Tub (Season 8: Episode 1) in which Lisa created life and had to deal with the consequences.  The Simpsons nerds out there know what I'm talking about.

     - Clark's Dad

Having a Baby Will Change You (Whether You Want It To or Not).

After you see your child come into the world, you think you're still the same person you were the day before.  You are not. You're a different person.  You probably will not even notice the changes right away.

In my case, I first noticed a change as  I was driving to a local "big box store." It's about a mile away. Clark was in the back of the car in his car seat. I noticed distinctly that I was driving differently.  I was driving much more cautiously and patiently.  Those aren't bad things, just not the way I drive*. Patience is not my forte.  Even with a crying baby behind me, I wasn't in my usual rush to get anywhere fast.

When I got to the parking lot, I found myself waiting for people to finish crossing in the crosswalks out front. That does not sound like me.  The old me would try to get through the crosswalk, meandering around and between the lallygaggers. I hate waiting for people in the crosswalk who aren't paying attention to what's going on around them.

I parked, settling for a space much farther away than I would have normally settled for on the first pass. I got out of the car and grabbed lil' Clark in his infant carrier.  I headed towards the front of the store and the previously mentioned crosswalk.  With baby in tow, I was cautious and conscientious: waiting for traffic to stop in both directions before proceeding.  My old babyless method more closely resembled the 80's video game Frogger. 

None of these changes were intentional nor conscious in the least, though maybe they should have been.  I guess it's just part of the transformation into a parent, responsible for a family and the life of a new human being.

      - Clark's Dad

*Don't get me wrong.  I'm not a bad or careless driver.  I'm pretty awesome actually.  I pay more attention to what other drivers and pedestrians are doing than they do to themselves.  It allows me to accurately anticipate their moves and make the decision that gets me from A -> B fastest.  I'm always thinking and analyzing while I'm driving.

Newborn Baby Football

Go Dad! Go!

Here's a new dad analogy: think of yourself as a running back and your newborn as a football (though unlike mine, yours may not be brown).

• Protect the ball - you'll want to secure the ball with two hands.
• Feel free to stiff arm anyone who tries to handle your baby without washing their hands (sorry, doctors' orders!)
• No kicks, punts, or throws - as guys we love to throw and kick things (beers, keys, balls, almost anything).  Don't toss the baby!
• Do not put the ball on the ground.  
• Do not turn the ball over (onto its stomach) to sleep.
• Sometimes you have to go out for a pass (or groceries or other errands).
• Protect the passer (wife/mother of your child/ren).
• Sometimes you need to carry the ball more to take pressure of the passer.
• If you're an experienced veteran, mentor a rookie. Make the world a better place.

The best running backs in football don't just run with the ball, they're multifaceted - double/triple threats.  When they do run the ball, they protect it and don't lose it.  That sounds like a good start to being a good dad.

   - Clark's Dad