Thumb: to suck or not to suck (As told in Three Acts)

Article first published as Thumb Sucking: Good or Bad (as Told in 3 Acts) on Technorati.

 

Thumbs up for thumb sucking! 

Is thumb sucking good or bad? The answer is not "bad". Recent research has shown no residual negative effects (dental or emotional) in those children who stop by age five. According to Heidi Murkoff author of What to Expect the First Year, 95% of children abandon the habit on their own before entering school. Any parent who finds that thumb sucking allows for a few moments of peace and quiet or the ability for a baby to fall back to sleep on her own would say it was more than good. Others might consider it neutral.

In my family, thumb sucking has come to represent a three generation Greek tragedy with irony and plot twists, like Oedipus and Antigone.

My mom was the second of eight children and the oldest girl. She and her older brother sucked their thumbs, not just as babies but into their school years. For my mom, at least, it led to teasing and pushed out her front teeth. As a young adult, she went to an oral surgeon to have her teeth fixed. Unfortunately, the inexperienced surgeon did a poor job and dental problems have plagued her for over forty years. Subsequent problems have required more surgery, braces and additional periodontal work. After four decades of problems, the shoddy work eventually led to some tooth loss and replacement.

After her experience with thumb sucking, my mother was committed to the idea that her son would never suck his thumb. She vowed to do everything in her power to prevent that. I believe she used the baby socks on thumb method. This would not work on my son, who continually takes his socks of and puts them in his own mouth.  It must have worked on me, because I have no memories or pictures of me sucking my thumb. I was led to believe that anyone who sucked their thumb would mess up their teeth and need braces. Whew, dodged that bullet. However, around the age of 15, it was decided (not by me) that I needed braces for of all things an under-bite (the irony). So after several years and thousands of dollars, eh.

How Much to Protect My Son

Article first published as How Much to Protect My Child on Technorati. 

Buddha back when he was just known as Siddhartha Gautam, his father King Śuddhodana tried to shield him from all human suffering. That's a mighty challenge, especially since Siddhartha was married by age 16. Ah, teenage love. Once, he fatefully encountered human suffering during his travels, it was crushing and depressing. It drove him to an ascetic lifestyle and in search of enlightenment. 

I recently channeled the teachings of Buddha in my parenting.

Yesterday morning began like most others. I woke up and began making breakfast for my son Clark (a nice warm bottle) and myself (hard-boiled eggs and oatmeal). I left Clark square in the middle of the bed. He quite recently figured out  rolling. He can roll in either directions. He's still mastering his technique, so it's not exactly smooth, but he seems to have a great time doing it.  

I walked back to the bedroom, which isn't that far away, to check on Clark. I watched him continue to flip and roll ever closer to the edge. I realized there was a 99% chance that he was going to fall off the bed and onto the floor (about 12 inches below.) This was a watershed parenting moment. What kind of dad am I going to be? I had two choices. I could let him continue as he was and eventually fall or I could place him somewhere safe from harm for the time being.

Distraction: King of Parenting Tricks

In my last post, I began a discussion of ways to outsmart your children.  I discussed "The Big Baby Bath" and now I'll get into "Distraction."

In my opinion, distraction is the king of parenting tricks.  It's a way to get a child (and even adults) to do what you want them to do or to stop doing what you don't want them to do.  According to Keyser Soze [the Usual Suspects], "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."  The greatest trick a parent ever learns is how to distract their children.

Here are a few examples:

1) I previously mentioned that I often use "The Big Baby Bath Theory" to accomplish cutting my son's nails.  If he's not already crying, my only option to keep it that way while cutting his nails is to distract him.  Usually, a pacifier will get the job done.  Same baby, same nails, same clippers - without the pacifier he's crying. With the pacifier, he could care less that I'm cutting his nails (and diverts far more attention to finding if that's Phineas and Ferb on the TV).

2) My son Clark is not a big fan of "Tummy Time (T-Time)." After a few minutes he'll start crying.  Since the "experts" say T-Time is so important, I needed to find a way to get him to put more time into it.  So, I distract the hell out of him.  There's plush toys, rattles, pillows, a motion activated music player, mirrors and of course his pacifier all on the mat with him for distraction.  He went from 2 or 3 minutes to about 30 straight minutes of T-Time with no tears.

3) Plan on taking young children on a long car trip?  You better bring iPods, smart phone apps, portable DVD players, coloring books and anything else you can think of that will keep them distracted in the back seat. Distractions will keep the cabin of the car free of "I'm bored" and "Are we there yet?"