Do You Need a Second Base for Your Baby Car Seat?

I hate to be anti-climatic, but the simple answer is no.  In fact, to my surprise (seriously) you don't even need one base for your car seat.  Clark is my first and only child, before him I had no experience at all with small children.  His was the first car seat I ever handled.  I thought a base was required to install a car seat.  When my wife needed to take the baby somewhere, I removed the base from my car and put it in hers.  Then vice-versa later in the day.

All your base are belong to us!

One day I was looking at the stickers on my son's car seat and I realized the installation instructions on that sticker were different from the instructions on the sticker located on the base.  Then it hit me! You can install a car seat with nothing more than a seat belt (lap or shoulder).  No base required.

The car seat base and definitely a second base are just conveniences.  Convenient, but not necessary.  Loading a car seat into a car with a base probably takes less than two seconds (click-click).  Loading a car seat without a base will take 5 second for a speedster, but probably closer to 15-30 seconds for the average person (pulling the belt, buckling it and locking it into proper position).  Same for removing the car seat.  However, many people leave their car seat in the car permanently, once the baby is too heavy for them to carry around in his carrier, so differences in loading time becomes negligible. With a base the seat belt is threaded through the base.  This keeps the seat belt away from curious little hands and baby bodily fluids.

Babies Don't Do That on TV

It's not like on me!

It has been nine months, and I harken back to the original theme of this blog:  Fatherhood is not like it's seen on Television.  I assume those babies you see on TV, in movies, and in commercials are extremely well-trained and possibly sedated freaks of nature. My baby behaves very differently.

For example (or por ejemplo for the Spanish speakers):

1. On TV, parents feed their baby and the baby faces forward (maybe even makes eye contact) and enjoys the baby bounty before her.  Not at my house.  My son sits in his high chair looking everywhere but forward.  I have to continually regain his attention (whistling, clicking, etc.) away from chomping on the tray of his high chair or the delicious label on his bib, mom walking by or any other kitchen distraction. He seems less interested in getting real food into his mouth (unless its something I'm eating). 


2. On TV, babies lie there and get their diapers changed (takes no time at all). Sure maybe there's a goofy smile or pee fountain for comedy, but they lie there for the duration. When I'm "trying" to change my kid's diaper, he is  trying to get away like an inmate that sees an unlocked exit door.  He's grabbing at everything: diapers (clean and dirty), wipes, lotion, or anything within reach of the changing table. He tries to turn over or stand up.  Where is he going? The most baffling aspect is that we've been through this hundreds of times over the past 9 months.  He knows exactly what is going to happen,  but he never makes it easy for me.  It's not medicine, son, it's a nice clean diaper.  Why do you fight it so?

Growing out of Baby Memories

At eight months old and 18 lbs my son is growing out of memories.  I'll explain.

Since Clark is almost nine months, I've been rummaging through his collection of clothes that he doesn't fit into yet, taking out the long sleeves (it's winter here) and 12 mos and 9-12 mos clothes.  Then I packed away the 6 mos and 3-6 mos that don't fit or he hasn't worn in a while.  The last part was the sad one for me.  The majority of Clark's 3-6 mos clothes are onesies with cute cute animals or saying on them, like "Mommy's Alarm Clock," "Daddy's Fishing Buddy," and "My Dad is King of the Grill."  He's worn them most of his life, they are emblematic of his childhood so far (at least to me).

Most children's clothing manufacturers have seasonal runs.  They print designs or patterns for one season  or shorter.  So I probably couldn't find those same onesies in his size now if i tried.  So memories in those clothes are set and done. On to his next stage of life.

Recently, Clark learned to stand up and hold on to his crib, which is fine.  However, he extended that to the ability to stand in his crib, reach up and pull down his mobile.  That being a hazard means I had to take down the mobile. That mobile was hanging from his crib before he was even born.  He's loved those turtles that hang from his mobile since he came home from the hospital.  It's always been how we put him to sleep.  Those days are officially a wrap.  So little time, so many memories.

Guide to Baby Pajamas

The temperatures are starting to dip in most places outside the tropics (in the Northern Hemisphere). If you have a baby or infant, you have probably gone out to buy or began to think about buying pajamas to keep your little one warm at night.  My son Clark was born in the Spring and we live in Vegas. Until very recently the temperature ranged from frying pan to the fire.  Clark rarely wore anything besides short sleeve onesies, even to sleep.  With Christmas fast approaching, the temperature in the desert has dropped significantly, especially at night.  So, now we put Clark to sleep in warm comfy jammies.

We've learned that not all pajamas are alike. Some are far more friendly to you as a parent than others.  Besides warmth, your biggest concern will be access.  When your baby wakes up in the darkest hours of the night and needs changing, you want the process to be as easy as possible.  So it is important to look for pajamas with easy access to the diaper.  This usually entails snaps/buttons that run at least from each of the the legs to the crotch. With that you can remove the offending diaper, wipe the butt, and put on the new diaper with as little hassle as possible.  Pajamas that force you to unzip the entire garment, then pull the legs out, mean you may have a cold baby while you're doing diaper management. You want quick access and minimum exposure to nighttime temperatures.  Lastly, get that baby back to sleep before he starts getting ideas about staying awake.

There are plenty of very cute pajamas with zippers or with snaps/buttons that only go up one leg.  They are mighty cute, but in the wee ours of the morning with a crying baby, you'll appreciate form over function.  This also works in reverse, if there is someone you don't like, buy cute pajamas for their kid with a convoluted design.  They'll think of you in their moment of despair.  I'm just kidding, don't do that.

     - Clark's Dad

Reverse Infant Separation Anxiety

The baby books say that parents should expect their children to begin showing signs of separation anxiety between 6 and 9 months old. When a child is left in the care of someone who is not their parent, even for a short amount of time, she may cry intensely fearing her parents may never return.  It's irrational to you as an adult, for the baby it's completely natural and rational.  The child is still developing an understanding of object permanence (think peekaboo and hide-and-seek) and parental attachment.

When leaving your child at daycare or with the sitter is the most likely time to notice this behavior.  This time of year, no one has more experience with it than mall Santas.   My son Clark is eight months old and a little different.  Fortunately or unfortunately, he hasn't really told me yet how he feels about it, I'm with my son nearly all his waking hours.  In the car, at home, play group, doctor's office, etc., daddy is rarely out of site while he's awake.  Perhaps he is starting to think, "hey, dad maybe you and I should try this separation thing out."

He loves strangers, perhaps a little too much.  The little ladies man, especially loves the ladies.  On the inconsistent days when I make it to the gym for MMA classes, I leave him with the ladies at the childcare facility there.  He loves it. (Bye, dad, I'm good!). No tears (yet) when I drop him off. In fact he seems to relish the attention.  He only cries when I come to pick him up and go home (Oh no, not him again!) He loves lunch at mommy's job, when he gets stolen away from us by the ladies there.  No complaints or anxiety (yet) from him, just blushing and cooing.   This month he has even been a good boy when it came to sitting on the Fat Man with the White Beard and Red Suit's lap. No tears, not even a funny look like, "Who's this guy, dad?!" 

Perhaps, I should just enjoy it while it lasts, knowing separation anxiety is on its way.  Or should I be concerned at how comfortable my son is with strangers (Reverse Separation Anxiety?).  No sense of stranger danger instinct.  Maybe he's sure that daddy will protect him from harm.  I'll let you know if and when separation anxiety kicks in.

    - Clark's Dad

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Product Review: Cosco Flat Fold High Chair - a Surpise Value

With all the co-pays and other costs adding up, as well as the thought of saving for college, my spending behavior has been quite parsimonious of late.  That's a fancy way or saying frugal, which is a fancy way of saying cheap or unwilling to spend money.

Once my son Clark was old enough for solids, I knew I would need a high chair, eventually.  However, I tried to fight it.  First, I tried feeding him in his Bumbo Baby Seat.  He would lean forward, instead of sitting up and back when eating.  So that didn't work.  I then tried feeding him in his child seat (not car seat).  Things went a little better, but I still felt I needed a tool designed for the job.  I needed a high chair but didn't want too spend much money on one.

I went to BRU, and thought I was looking at prices for thrones, instead of plastic chairs with trays designed for feeding babies.  Prices ranged from about $75 to $200.  Frustrated, I visited America's favorite big box store (it's also the most hated).  They carried many of the same models as BRU, maybe a little cheaper.  There was one that caught my eye, well, its price did. $30 (regular price) for a model from Cosco, not to be confused with Costco.

I don't think said big box store was too proud to offer this model, because the display model was hidden behind the others.  I took the effort to fight my way back there and pulled it out, placing it on the ground.  I compared it to the other models on display and my impression was that it did not feel sturdy, and not something I would feel safe putting my child in.  The construction felt like someone had repurposed an ironing board.

How Much to Protect My Son

Article first published as How Much to Protect My Child on Technorati. 

Buddha back when he was just known as Siddhartha Gautam, his father King Śuddhodana tried to shield him from all human suffering. That's a mighty challenge, especially since Siddhartha was married by age 16. Ah, teenage love. Once, he fatefully encountered human suffering during his travels, it was crushing and depressing. It drove him to an ascetic lifestyle and in search of enlightenment. 

I recently channeled the teachings of Buddha in my parenting.

Yesterday morning began like most others. I woke up and began making breakfast for my son Clark (a nice warm bottle) and myself (hard-boiled eggs and oatmeal). I left Clark square in the middle of the bed. He quite recently figured out  rolling. He can roll in either directions. He's still mastering his technique, so it's not exactly smooth, but he seems to have a great time doing it.  

I walked back to the bedroom, which isn't that far away, to check on Clark. I watched him continue to flip and roll ever closer to the edge. I realized there was a 99% chance that he was going to fall off the bed and onto the floor (about 12 inches below.) This was a watershed parenting moment. What kind of dad am I going to be? I had two choices. I could let him continue as he was and eventually fall or I could place him somewhere safe from harm for the time being.

Product Review: Best App to Track Your Baby

So I recently joined the 21st century, and got a "smarty" phone when I re-upped my cell phone contract.  An HTC Sensation, since you asked.  I don't know how I went so long without one.  My phone is probably more powerful than my grad school laptop I'm using to write this post.  Part of what makes smarty phones so smart is the apps or applications.

My wife and I had previously tried in vain to keep track of all of our son Clark's "achievements." By achievement I mean poops, pees, feedings, naps, weight, etc.  I'd say about half of his"achievements" were never logged.  Anything that happened in the dead of night was immediately forgotten to time.  Once I finally got a smarty phone, I figured there must be an "(Android) App for that."  I started with an app to track his sleeping, then moved on to trying out more comprehensive baby tracking apps.  Here is my assessment/review of the apps available.

Baby Care:

Baby Care is a perfectly fine free program.  It beats paper and pen by a mile. "This software is freeware (ad supported), and developed by a newborn parent and his team(LuckyXmobile)."

Do Not Wait Too Long to Dress Up Your Newborns and Infants

 

Admitted, I'm a sucker for cute baby clothes.  It's not unheard of for me to buy clothes for my baby or friends' babies because they were just too cute to pass by.  Damn you, Garanimals! I can't be the only one. Walmart uses this fact against me (and my ilk) by placing the cutest baby items along the main aisle.  I call it the "parent trap."

Besides what I was "trapped" into buying, my wife and I also received baby clothes as gifts.  By the time my son Clark was born, there were plenty of outfits we couldn't wait to take pictures of him wearing.  We imagined the places we would take those pictures, and how wonderful they would be.

Well, the problem is once your baby is born the clock on fitting into NB/0 or Newborn size starts ticking.  The size of your baby at birth is the biggest factors, but those newborns sure do grow quickly.  Before you know it, those super cute outfits are getting rather snug on your "little" one. 

There are going to be many sleep deprived nights once you bring home your new bundle of joy.  You are not going to want to go out anywhere.  Plus, many parents consciously choose to not leave the house with their new babies for quite a while.  There may be the occasional visitors that inspire you to dress up junior before he or she spits up or poops their way out of the outfit.   Therefore, there may not be very many occasions for you to dress up your little bundle in all those cute clothes you bought (or received).  There will definitely be fewer than you expect.

Clark wore mostly his short sleeve white onesies (it's hot in Vegas) around the house with a few cuter onesies in rotation.  He weighed over 8 lbs at birth.  He started outgrowing size NB at three weeks and 0-3 mo at around 2 months. 

So don't wait for special occasions to dress up your newborn.  If you do, you may find yourself with a closet or drawers full of the cutest baby clothes that your infant never got to where and are now too small.  Maybe, you can give them to an expectant friend or someone less fortunate.



     - Clark's Dad

Honey It's Time: Rushing to the Hospital!

Lucy: Ricky, this is it!
Ricky: This is it!  This is it!  This is it! 

Hilarity and delirium ensues!  Ricky, Fred and Ethel run around like headless chickens.  They all simultaneously try to call the doctor, hail the taxi cab, and retrieve Lucy's hospital bags.  They run out of the house leaving Lucy behind, before coming back to get her. Classic comedy gold! They then all proceed to rush Lucy to the hospital.

I've been told this was the first "television birth and delivery (1950s TV style)." Thus, television's first "hurry up we have to get to the hospital, the baby is coming" moment.  Perhaps we have Desi and Lucy to thank for this fallacy.

The third thing we learned in the my labor and delivery class was that we could let go of that preconceived idea.  There will probably be no need to "rush" to the hospital.  Under normal circumstances, you will have hours, not minutes to get mommy safely to the hospital.

(That went double or quadruple for me, since the hospital is only 5 blocks away - maybe a mile a so.  In fact, we could have used to the walk to help jump start cervix dilation, if that was a good idea.  And if you read my previous post "Contractions Starting! Don't Go for a Walk!" then you already know it's not.)

Signs That You Need to Change a Newborn's Diaper

As a new dad,  if your baby is breast-fed, you will probably be surprised that that your baby's soiled diapers don't stink. They smell more "funny" than bad, and the smell can be very faint. Sorry, formula dads, you don't get this benefit. Without the smell, how do you now when to change the diaper?

Diapers are not transparent and don't have indicators like changing colors (which would be cool). Before you set your baby on the changing table or other baby furniture, it can be difficult for new dads to know when their newborn has wet or soiled their diaper.

Here are a few signs to look for

1. There's what I refer to as the baby cod piece.  If a baby wets his diaper, the modern super absorbent diaper soaks up the liquid and swells up.  The baby then appears to have a cod piece on.


2. A funny smell, which you will eventually recognize as the smell of (breast fed) baby poop, is a strong indicator of a soiled diaper.


3. The sign requiring the most immediate attention is any poop trying to make an escape from the diaper.  The most likely escape routes are the top back of the diaper and around the legs.


4. Crying, accompanied by one or more of the above.


5. Sounds of flatulence, squirting, or wet bubbling coming from inside the diaper

If you think your baby has wet or soiled their diaper, don't change it right away. You probably want to wait at least 5 minutes.  Baby may be mid pee or poop. Changing the diaper at the moment may result in you getting peed or pooped on in the process.  You may have to change the diaper again because someone wasn't finished before you put on a new diaper.

     - Clark's Dad

The Baby Photography Scam

A photographer's job is to take pictures.  Am I right? You pay them to perform a service, the service of taking pictures. Why do the photographers retain the rights to images of me or my child?  They then ransom additional copies of those images to you.  Images that you have already paid him or her to take.  Some may sell you the rights [to print] (for an additional charge) to those picture, many will not.  Wal-mart and many other photo labs require a letter granting you authorization to reprint YOUR photos taken by professional photographers.

Everyone wants pictures of the biggest events of their life, which usually includes their wedding and their children growing up.  My wife and I had a photographer at our wedding.  The photographer was part of our wedding package.  I didn't learn the  photography business model until after the wedding.  You can pick out a few pictures as part of your photo package. If you want additional copies of those pictures or prints of any of the other pictures taken, you must order them from the photographer. Most wedding photographers will refuse to sell you the negatives until at least a year after the wedding.  Baby photographers have a similar model, but most will sell you the negatives or digitals when you purchase their premium-est of packages.  For this reason, my wife and I have mainly avoided baby pictures taken by professional photographers.

Admittedly, this type of arrangement may have made since before digital photography and before you could have film developed at the grocery store.  Unless you had your own dark room to develop film, the photographer was the obvious and often only choice to obtain copies of your pictures.  Holding on to the negatives/originals just facilitated things.  Film costs money, so does photo paper and the chemicals used to develop film and make prints.  However, with digital, there is no film. The cost of storage for each pictures if marginally zero.  Anyone can take their pictures to FotoMat (just kidding, there hasn't been a FotoMat booth in probably two decades) or have them printed from online.  This is even if one wants actual prints instead of just the digitals, which can be posted and shared on Facebook or other social media sites or placed in digital picture frames.

I have a programming background.  If you're hired for a contract job or have a long term employer, whatever you produce while on that job, including the intellectual property (IP) rights, belongs to the company that paid you. You were paid to perform a service (creating a program or code). You don't own it, the employer does.  If you use a Realtor to find a house, she doesn't get to maintain possession of the house and charge you rent to live there.  She was paid for the service of finding you a house only.

Product Review: Ear Peace

Recently, the Dads had the opportunity to try out an interesting new product (new to us) called Ear Peace. 

I hate to admit it, but I'm getting old, not "grown and sexy," mind you, just old. If you don't know what "grown and sexy" means, ask your Black friends. However, If you're reading this, I probably am your Black friend*. So try urban dictionary.  The signals abound regarding my descent into old age. Two outstanding examples that come to mind are the last time I attended a live concert (Skull Candy Pool Stage @ The Hard Rock Hotel) and the last time I went to a dance Club (Rain @ the Palms Casino).  Both events brought the same thought to mind: "Boy, the music is really loud.  You think they could turn it down a bit?  Maybe we should leave early!"  Classic sign of "oldmanery."  

Back to Ear Peace, cute name, right?  Sound like something you put in your ear, so you can ignore your family and anything else that annoys you when you get home from work. The Ear Peace is technically a set of ear plugs, but to be be cliche, "not your father's ear plugs."  You do place them in your ears, but that's where the similarities stop.

Traditional ear plugs block sound, they're ostentatious, and far from aesthetically pleasing.  The Ear Peace doesn't block sound, it dampens it, but not in the same way as traditional plugs.  The sound you hear isn't muffled, it's transformed.  What you hear is more vivid, cutting out "noise" and distracting background sounds, focusing on what you're trying to hear.  I'm not an ear science major, so I don't know why or how they work, but they do make what you're listening to sound better.  They don't block annoying sounds (crying babies, noisy neighbors, etc.) but makes them sound far less annoying. 

The Ear Peace is smaller than traditional ear plugs. They are easily inserted and removed from the ears. Ear Peace comes in three different shades (vanilla, caramel, and chocolate) to match your complexion, instead of the usual white and construction orange. They blend in and can probably go unnoticed to the unobservant, unlike most ear plugs.  Ear Peace also comes with a sleek carrying case, which is way better than a paper towel, which most people use to carry their ear plugs.

We've Been Nominated

  

My Dad Experience has been nominated for Most Valuable Blogger (MVB) in the Lifestyle & Family Category.

The contest is sponsored by the local Las Vegas CBS affiliate (KLAS) and News Radio KXNT 100.5 FM.  So if you have a moment to spare, we'd appreciate your support. Vote here.

Voting is now closed. Thanks for your support.

-The Dad

Reflections on the World My Son Was About to Enter

Just before and just after my son Clark's birth, I had several encounters with strangers that left me wondering what I should or would do in a similar situation in the future.  There were three encounters and each involved a vagrant or panhandler.

The first incident occurred a few weeks before Clark's birth.  Clark's Mom and I were walking down the Las Vegas strip on a warm Spring Sunday morning.  Clark's mom was obviously showing at 9 months pregnant.  She was wearing a custom t-shirt with our last name on the front and mommy on the back with a number like a softball jersey.  We walked pass a woman on the sidewalk with her young daughter beside her.  She was holding a sign (with wording I can't remember) and panhandling.  

My wife was greatly disturbed by the encounter. She told me that she felt bad flaunting her pregnancy with the t-shirt, while another woman was so desperate as to panhandle with here child at her side. I found the child being involved distasteful.  It didn't really bother me too much, as there was no direct contact and we had passed a number of other panhandlers on our walk.

Mere hours before Clark was born, my wife, in early labor, and I visited a certain big box retailer - O.K. "The Big Box retailer."  We were finishing last minute (literally) preparation of the nursery. As we exited the car, we were approached by a young woman holding a little girl. She then said, "Can i ask you a question?"  Coming from a stranger, I knew this conversation was not heading anywhere positive.  The question was, "Could I spare $5?"

The "Big Box Store" was in a pretty nice neighborhood, but starting at $5 was pretty ballsy for a panhandler.  They normally ask for spare change or maybe a dollar.  I responded that I didn't have any cash on me (because I don't usually carry any).  She then went on to solicit others in the parking lot.  As she walked away, I could hear the little girl had a bad hacking cough, but that's not what the woman was requesting assistance for.  It probably should have been.  I felt very bad for the little girl.  Admittedly, being directly accosted made the situation feel more personal. 

Distraction: King of Parenting Tricks

In my last post, I began a discussion of ways to outsmart your children.  I discussed "The Big Baby Bath" and now I'll get into "Distraction."

In my opinion, distraction is the king of parenting tricks.  It's a way to get a child (and even adults) to do what you want them to do or to stop doing what you don't want them to do.  According to Keyser Soze [the Usual Suspects], "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."  The greatest trick a parent ever learns is how to distract their children.

Here are a few examples:

1) I previously mentioned that I often use "The Big Baby Bath Theory" to accomplish cutting my son's nails.  If he's not already crying, my only option to keep it that way while cutting his nails is to distract him.  Usually, a pacifier will get the job done.  Same baby, same nails, same clippers - without the pacifier he's crying. With the pacifier, he could care less that I'm cutting his nails (and diverts far more attention to finding if that's Phineas and Ferb on the TV).

2) My son Clark is not a big fan of "Tummy Time (T-Time)." After a few minutes he'll start crying.  Since the "experts" say T-Time is so important, I needed to find a way to get him to put more time into it.  So, I distract the hell out of him.  There's plush toys, rattles, pillows, a motion activated music player, mirrors and of course his pacifier all on the mat with him for distraction.  He went from 2 or 3 minutes to about 30 straight minutes of T-Time with no tears.

3) Plan on taking young children on a long car trip?  You better bring iPods, smart phone apps, portable DVD players, coloring books and anything else you can think of that will keep them distracted in the back seat. Distractions will keep the cabin of the car free of "I'm bored" and "Are we there yet?"

Two Degrees vs. One Baby. Am I Smarter Than an Infant?

No relation to "The Family Freud"

I have an MBA and an undergraduate degree in Psychology.  In an effort to feel that I got my money's worth, I sometimes use some of the theories I learned and apply them to real life situations. Lately, I have tried a few out on my son Clark.  My two favorite tricks ... errr!!! ... theories to use are 1)  the "Big Baby Bath" - my own version of the "Big Bath Theory*" and "Reverse Positive Reinforcement" and 2) distraction, which I'll describe in a future article.

The former goes something like this: Clark starts to cry for whatever reason.  (Light bulb) Now is a good time to do things to him that are necessary, but that he doesn't like, things that usually make him cry.  Why?  Because he's already crying.

E.g., Clark starts crying, let's say he's hungry.  While the milk is warming up, it's now a great time to cut his nails.  What's he gonna do? Cry? Too late.  I figure this strategy will work when he gets older as well.  It should cut down on whining and wise-assery as he reaches those tween years.  Picture this, "Daaaad, it's so unfair that I have to rake all the leaves in the backyard.  You're right, son.  By the way, you need to clean the gutters and finish your homework too."  

He was going to cry or complain about each of those things individually, why not get all the crying and whining out of the way in one shot?

Which Mom Knows Best: Yours or Your Child's?

I know more about babies than you!!!

There is no more epic battle that a new dad will find himself than an "un-Civil" War between a new mom and her mother-in- law.  Altercations between a new mom and her mother can also be "un-Civil", but the dad won't be caught in the middle.  In fact if he knows what's good for him, he better always stand behind his wife in skirmishes with her mother.  However, when shots are fired between the woman you married and the woman who raised you, it's going to get pretty uncivilized and quick.  No time more so than when it come to how to take care of a newborn baby.

Here's the context:  Grandma has raised at least one child (dad) or more to adulthood and believes she did a pretty good job of it.  Dad survived didn't he?  The problem is Grandma hasn't had to care for a baby for at least 20 years and things have changed. (E.g., newborns shouldn't sleep on their backs or have their skin exposed to sunshine at length, moms have the option to breast feed, use  formula or pump breast milk, etc.) Grandma may be more susceptible to old wives' tales and old world child rearing practices.

Your wife is probably a professional and well educated woman.  She is used to making independent decisions based on the latest medical facts and findings.  She's probably taken (and brought dad along) to several baby preparation classes.  So she may never have raised a baby before, but she has armed herself with latest and best practices and techniques.

Both Mom and Grandma want the best for baby, but have different paradigms and experiences.  If you (dad) are lucky, it is merely a difference of opinion.  If you are not, they may be playing out a power play with you and the baby caught in the middle dodging mortar shells.

I'm not sure have any suggestions to solve this dilemma.  My mom likes my wife more than she likes me, so I've never been caught between the two.

So if you're a dad in this situation, what to do? 
Suggestions?

     -  Clark's Dad

Don't Let Your Parents Screw Up Your Kids

Grandparents will screw up your kids and then give them back to you to fix.  Um, what's up with that? Everyone accepts that grandparents spoil their grandchildren.  It's expected. I figured this would include too much candy (mostly of the hard variety), cookies, junk food and birthday cake.  Plus, socks and underwear for Christmas (at least that's how it works on TV.)  I had no idea it would turn into a tactical assault on my child rearing efforts.

My son Clark is by most standards a good baby.  He has a very laid back personality.  Not a lot of crying.  It's seems his grandmothers may think he's making it too easy on us as parents, and have taken efforts to make raising him more of a challenge. Perhaps, it's payback for our rebellious adolescent behaviors so long ago. Perhaps, it's to test our parenting chops.

Case in point:

Clark's maternal grandma came to visit a few days after he was born.  It was very nice of her to drive all the way from LA to see the new baby.  She held Clark for about four hours straight (spoiling him) before leaving.  Then, as she put Clark down, because she was about to leave, he began to cry.  She then told us, we had a spoiled baby and shouldn't hold him so much.  Then she left, leaving us with a crying "spoiled" baby.

Insuring Your Baby's Future Can be Expensive

Everyone knows that babies can be expensive.  Various internet and non-internet sources claim that it will cost over $200,000* to raise a child to age 18 (college tuition not included.)  I doubt the costs are linear, but that averages to over $11,000 per year.  Costs like diapers, food, clothing and furniture immediately come to mind, but there are plenty of hefty expenses that you might not have thought of.

How about insurance? Let's start with health insurance.  The additional cost of adding my son, Clark, to my wife's health insurance is about $250/month (plus co-pays).  That's the equivalent of a lot of diapers.  The irony is my wife works for a health insurance company.

Don't forget all the other insurances.  You may not have needed life insurance before you had a child, but it's probably a good idea now.  If you're relatively healthy and in your 30s, a decent policy should run between $30 and $50 per month for each parent (or at least each working parent).   You'll need to choose between whole or term life.  Be careful not to get too much insurance.  You never want to be worth significantly more dead than alive**.

There's also home or renter's insurance.  Before Clark was conceived, I was not that concerned about what a loss of possessions would mean.  However, the thought of him without any toys, crib or baby necessities was/is quite disturbing.  So now I need to add renter's insurance.  That's another $30 a month.  I'm also wondering if I need to increase my auto insurance policy now that he's in the car. You know, just in case.  That all adds up to a lot of "just in case money" each month.  To quote "The Homeboys" from In Living Color, "Mo money, mo money, mo money!"