From No!No!No! to Swastikas

Weird title, right. I know.  The idea for this post came while I was sitting at a fast food restaurant affectionately known around my house as the Monarch.  As my wife and I waited for our order, i noticed that some jack-ass had carved a Swastika into the table.  This restaurant was located in the heart of suburbia near a large county park and oddly enough not far from Wayne Newton's house (no joke).  All this is to say, I don't think a local chapter of any hate group was having a meeting or burger get together.  So more than likely this was the work or indiscretion of bored suburban youths, kids that actually go to good schools.

So were these ne're do wells actual hate mongers?  Probably not.  Teens often do things to get a reaction or to test the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Teenager feel they don't have much control over their lives, so they rebel.  Anyone read Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.  Holden was a little shit.  Teenagers love that book, and consequently many high school English class doors, desks and other flat surfaces wind up with scribbled message in reference to fornication.

Semi-conductors: A Daily Essential

If you have no interest in how the electrical devices which aid and govern every area of modern life actually work, you won’t know a thing about semi-conductors. Their name is apt, for they are a vital but silent partner in the business of living. Without them, many of our biggest industries simply couldn’t survive. We wouldn’t have cheap, readily available electronic goods. Even life-saving diagnostic tools would be lost to modern medicine without the semi-conductor.

If you’re still on board, let’s get the science bit done. To understand semi conductors – visit RS Components to survey all manner them - you have to understand conductors. Even the technophobes among us can grasp the concept of materials which conduct electricity. In most of our computers and gadgets, conductors are made of metal, while non-conductors are usually made of ceramics. A semi-conductor is a material which conducts energy between conductors and non-conductors. They are either made of elemental materials such as germanium and silicon, or compounds like cadmium selenide. Compounds are made using a process known as doping, in which small impurities are added to silicon, enabling it to properly channel the electrical flow.

Hey, Where Have You Guys Been?

Welcome Back

Where have we been? Good question. Well technically we, The Dads, haven't gone anywhere. Yes, we haven't written an article in a while. We are still experiencing the "joys" of fatherhood each and everyday.  We just haven't had much time to share and write about them.  

Specifically for me, my son Clark became mobile and started to crawl.  My whole life, my whole style of life changed.  No longer could I place Clark somewhere and he would be happy to stay there, while I got a little work done.  He can move on his own and isn't happy unless he's doing so. He's not much of a TV watcher (the opposite of his dad at that age according to grandma).  He's constantly finding new places and things to get into around the house.  He'd must rather explore cabinets that he's not allowed in than to play with any of his toys.  

All this mostly means, chasing what is now a 16 month old boy around all day for fun (and his protection), doesn't leave much time for writing.  He's down to one nap a day (3 hrs, yea!) and an 8 PM bed time.  So hopefully, I'll get a little more writing done in the future.  I look forward to catching up and sharing my stories with you. 

Three Family Trip Tips for Dads

So, you’ve decided to use your vacation time to go on a trip with your family. Taking a trip with your family to Disney World won’t be quite as relaxing as taking at trip with your spouse to Hawaii or as fun as taking a trip to Vegas with your buds. However, it can be very enjoyable. Here are three tips to help you get the most out of your family trip:

1. Buy each of your children a new toy before you leave – Being able to bring new toys with them on the trip will help captivate their interest, so they focus less on how boring the car ride is or how turbulent the flight is. Plus, it will increase their excitement about the trip, which means they’ll be a little less likely to complain when things go wrong.

2. Be consistent – No means no, not maybe. Lay down the ground rules for the trip, and stick to them. Your kids will try to get away with a little more than they try to at home on the trip. You probably don’t want to spend your vacation time disciplining your children, but it’s sometimes a necessary evil to keep them safe. So, enforce the rules, and make sure you and your spouse (if your spouse is traveling with you) are consistent about what you both expect. If the kids know you’re a softie, they’ll ask mom if they can ask ice cream, and when she says no, they’ll ask you. Don’t give in!

Protecting Your Baby from the Cord Monster

 

 
There’s nothing more annoying than tripping over bunches of wires in your own home, as if falling afoul of some masochistic booby trap. Sooner or later, it’ll result in a serious injury. Between the trip hazards and the electric shock risk, having loose cabling all over the house is not safe, especially if you have a young children at home.

There are a number of precautions you can take when setting up your cabling. The first – and perhaps most obvious – step to take is to buy wire tidies and label them. You can keep track of each appliance this way, without having to run your hands along lengths of knotted cabling.

Another precaution is to try to avoid having to run wires across the room if possible. If you have to, bury them under the carpet or attach them to the wall. You can get all the necessary bits of kit for attaching wires to the wall (as well as browsing cables) at rs-online.co.uk.

The Family Bed

What follows is an account of what has been happening around my house and my feelings about the family bed. You can share your feelings about the family bed in the comments below.

Ok, here it goes: Don't.

Our story: Alejandra has been sleeping in her room since she was 8 weeks old. At that time, her Mom went back to work and so we thought the sooner Alejandra was used to sleeping in her own bed, the better it would be for everyone. In our mind, Alejandra would benefit from uninterrupted sleep, benefit from a daily routine of a steady bed time (7:30pm) and it would allow us (the parents) an opportunity to reminisce about life 'before kids' as we swing back a glass of wine while doing laundry, dishes and picking up toys to semi0-reclaim our living room to pre-baby status.

A few weeks ago, Alejandra began waking up sometime in the middle of the night. Sometimes it was around midnight, sometimes around 3am. The causes varied from a runny nose, a cold and more recently teething (see previous post). This last reason was met with some excitement since we were sure our baby was the last one to start teething at 16 months!

Each time Alejandra would wake up, we would give her 'European 5 minutes' and see if she would put herself back to sleep, followed by a trip down the hall to check on her and pick her up, hold her, reassure her and put her back to sleep. Somehow, most likely due to exhaustion and convenience, these trips evolved from doing all the comforting and baby managing in Alejandra's room to walking back to our room and laying her in the middle of the bed. I think somewhere in the middle of the night it became easier to lay her down, barricade her between us and then we could catch a few zzz's while she fell back asleep. Which bring me to the point I wanted to make when I started writing this.

When You’re At The End of Your Rope

Here are some tips for when you’re absolutely at the end of your tether with your toddler. They were passed on to me by my mother, who watched my hopeless early attempts to get my son and his sister to co-operate when they were three and a half and two a half and respectively. Yes, one was just beginning the terrible twos and the other was just honing his skills. It was not a pretty sight, and I can’t say I handled it well. 

Just One Pair of Hands…

As a lone father I often got overwhelmed and frustrated with the kids, and my mother would always appear like an angel of peace. Before I knew it calm was restored and the kids would be curled up next to her happily listening to a story and dropping off to sleep. “How do you do that?” I asked, but never got a satisfactory answer. It’s just Grandparent magic. They just have to turn up. It’s quite annoying in some ways, as I could not replicate the calm atmosphere she brought, however much I tried. But crucially he visits were a great way to get some respite, even if it just meant I got a few hours to spend looking for the best cash isas. Family finances have to be done, and my Mom often gave me the breathing space to do paperwork when I wasn’t exhausted in the evening. Here are a few tips she did pass on, however, and they have all worked, especially when you’re at the end of your rope.

1. Chill – seriously. Just chill. It may seem like the most important thing in the world that you get your kid to finish that sandwich he asked for. But it isn’t. Really it isn’t. Don’t fight the small battles, keep a sense of humour and try to put yourself in the child’s place. Have you never taken something to eat that looked good and then found it wasn’t? Or that you just weren’t hungry? Imagine having a huge policeman stand over you and yell at you to finish it. No wonder my son got stressed with me. Just let it go, was my Mum’s advice. And she was usually right.

Saving Money on Your Kids

Raising kids today is certainly not cheap. Parents today face many of the same child-related expenses that parents from previous generations have faced. These include the costs of clothing, food, toys and games, and even college education. Yet the costs of these expenses have greatly increased over time. You may be considering options to reduce your expenses and save money today. Some parents will compare house insurance and auto insurance through an online price comparison website to find extra cash, and others are cutting back on extra purchases and making an effort to live beneath their means. Here are some ways you can save money on kids today:

Buy Necessities and Save for Wanted Items:
When kids are younger, they often ask for everything from the latest toys to candy bars while in the checkout line at the grocery store. These little items can certainly add up over time. Yet they are small in comparison to the more expensive items that preteens and teens will ask for. Older kids want the latest electronics, the hottest styles, and more. Parents can save money by purchasing only necessities like only clothing that is needed, items needed for school, and so forth. For larger items or wanted items, kids can learn about delayed gratification by saving for them.

Teach Your Kids About Budgeting:
You can save your own pretty pennies to help kids get the items they want, like an expensive new pair of sneakers or the latest video game. However, you can also allow kids to earn their own money and save for those items they really want. They can be assigned chores and a set allowance, or they can earn money on their own through mowing yards, babysitting, and more. By allowing kids to purchase these extra items with their own money, the cost is no longer yours. Further, you will find that kids often will start spending money more wisely. It is common for kids to try to use parents as a living credit card, asking for everything their hearts desire. Yet when they have control over the budget, they often will make better decisions about what money is spent on.

Baby Hands To The Face!

I’d like to share with you a move I like to call the ‘get that out of my face’ or ‘wax-on wax-off’ type of blocking that Alejandra has been doing to let us know when she’s done eating / drinking / or has decided that she doesn’t want us to wipe her nose.I heard from a friend that this is a ‘day care’ learned behavior. I’m not sure she’s totally correct. It reminded of this little film I watched before I became a dad and which I now I think I should revisit just to see how much more I’ll enjoy it:

This behavior showed up a few months ago, and although it’s a seldom act, it nonetheless surprises us and leaves us somewhat in shock when it happens. Alejandra is normally a calm and relaxed kid. Her disposition is mellow and pretty ‘go with the flow’; however, when she sets her mind to something she can be very animated and passionate about what she wants. Interestingly enough, her slapping the hands to the face is much more common towards her mom than me. I’m not sure why that is, yet if I were to guess, it may be because of the difference in how we react when she does it. I tend to be more firm with Alejandra, whereas my wife is more understanding.

Do You Need a Second Base for Your Baby Car Seat?

I hate to be anti-climatic, but the simple answer is no.  In fact, to my surprise (seriously) you don't even need one base for your car seat.  Clark is my first and only child, before him I had no experience at all with small children.  His was the first car seat I ever handled.  I thought a base was required to install a car seat.  When my wife needed to take the baby somewhere, I removed the base from my car and put it in hers.  Then vice-versa later in the day.

All your base are belong to us!

One day I was looking at the stickers on my son's car seat and I realized the installation instructions on that sticker were different from the instructions on the sticker located on the base.  Then it hit me! You can install a car seat with nothing more than a seat belt (lap or shoulder).  No base required.

The car seat base and definitely a second base are just conveniences.  Convenient, but not necessary.  Loading a car seat into a car with a base probably takes less than two seconds (click-click).  Loading a car seat without a base will take 5 second for a speedster, but probably closer to 15-30 seconds for the average person (pulling the belt, buckling it and locking it into proper position).  Same for removing the car seat.  However, many people leave their car seat in the car permanently, once the baby is too heavy for them to carry around in his carrier, so differences in loading time becomes negligible. With a base the seat belt is threaded through the base.  This keeps the seat belt away from curious little hands and baby bodily fluids.

Keeping Your Child’s Next Party Stress Free

Planning a birthday party for a child can sometimes feel like a daunting task. For most sane people, the prospect of letting 50 kids ricochet around your home like so many pucks on an air hockey table, wreaking havoc on your clean carpet and terrorizing your pets just doesn’t sound that appealing. If you fall into that group, first of all, congrats on your sanity. Second of all, you don’t have to lose your mind at your child’s next party. Here are a few tips to minimize the stress without minimizing your child’s fun on their special day.

Short and Sweet

Don’t feel the need to drag the party out longer than a few hours at most. Depending on your child’s age, a two-hour party is absolutely acceptable and is probably about as long as their attention span can handle. If you’re child has reached the age of eight or older, three hours is fine but anything more than that and the kids will start to get bored and you’ll start to tense up.

A Few Good Friends

There is some sort of strange obligation that a lot of parents feel to invite the entire class to the party. This is not true in the least. Your child will probably have just as much fun with 5 or 6 of their closest friends as they will with the entire class. In fact, at bigger parties, the birthday boy or birthday girl will often feel obligated to talk to classmates they don’t usually interact with or get along with, and this can cut down on their fun.

Blame it on the Te-Te-Te-Teething

Have you seen me Yet?

If you think about it, teething is a barbaric process that requires splitting open of the gums in order for dull enamel growth to protrude through enabling your child to better bite through a banana or pureed organic vegetable medley. Oh, and it comes with the added bonus of crankiness and sleepless nights. Teething symptoms include: drooling, crabbiness, ear pulling and can last from the age of 6 months to 3 years according to WebMD.

What I find particularly amusing about the process is its lack of specificity and scheduling. I’ve seen five month olds with teeth, and on the other side of the spectrum Alejandra at one year and three months has none. That’s right, none. Having no teeth, however, does not disqualify us from thinking it’s ‘teething’ that’s keeping her from sleeping of being cranky. It’s just the latest in a pot of possible ‘causes’ of deviation from ‘normalcy.’ I realize, as I write this, the irony behind trying to assign a ‘cause’ to the ‘normalcy’ or lack thereof to our lives since Alejandra joined our clan! Let’s see, 15 months minus five months equals 10 months; 10 months where we could be ‘treating’ or expecting teething to be the culprit behind the crankiness or sleepless nights. That is a little too long for me and, although I try to focus on cherishing the moments with Alejandra, there are some moments when I wish I could cherish the time staring at the inside of my eyelids.

My wonderful wife and I have been anxiously expecting these falsely labeled ‘porcelain’ gems to make their appearance. In reality they are nuggets of enamel that help us with biting and chewing. I found this great chart to compare if and when Alejandra’s teeth decide to join the outside world . The lack of enamel protrusion is in no way hindering my little girl from accomplishing the task of eating. In that department she excels and I can’t imagine her being any better at eating once she gets her own set of choppers.

Babies Don't Do That on TV

It's not like on me!

It has been nine months, and I harken back to the original theme of this blog:  Fatherhood is not like it's seen on Television.  I assume those babies you see on TV, in movies, and in commercials are extremely well-trained and possibly sedated freaks of nature. My baby behaves very differently.

For example (or por ejemplo for the Spanish speakers):

1. On TV, parents feed their baby and the baby faces forward (maybe even makes eye contact) and enjoys the baby bounty before her.  Not at my house.  My son sits in his high chair looking everywhere but forward.  I have to continually regain his attention (whistling, clicking, etc.) away from chomping on the tray of his high chair or the delicious label on his bib, mom walking by or any other kitchen distraction. He seems less interested in getting real food into his mouth (unless its something I'm eating). 


2. On TV, babies lie there and get their diapers changed (takes no time at all). Sure maybe there's a goofy smile or pee fountain for comedy, but they lie there for the duration. When I'm "trying" to change my kid's diaper, he is  trying to get away like an inmate that sees an unlocked exit door.  He's grabbing at everything: diapers (clean and dirty), wipes, lotion, or anything within reach of the changing table. He tries to turn over or stand up.  Where is he going? The most baffling aspect is that we've been through this hundreds of times over the past 9 months.  He knows exactly what is going to happen,  but he never makes it easy for me.  It's not medicine, son, it's a nice clean diaper.  Why do you fight it so?

Product Review: Lansinoh Affinity Double Electric Breast Pump

Today's review is not from one of The Dad, it's from a mom for obvious reasons.

Since there is limited trialability, buying a breast pump usually requires a leap of faith. For something so important and costly, there’s no way to know if the one you want will work for you since you can’t try it out in the store or return it if you don’t like it. Hopefully this review of the Lansinoh Affinity  Double Electric Breast Pump will help you make this important decision.

So far, my experience with this pump has been positive. The main reason why I bought this electric double pump was because I wanted to continue breastfeeding when I returned to work but couldn’t fathom spending a minimum of $275 for a pump. This pump is well-priced at $150 or so; some places have it for even less.

The Lansinoh Affinity Breast Pump is small, lightweight and easy to carry. It has an AC adapter and can also operate on 6 AA batteries. It does not come with its own tote bag though, so you’ll have to find one that’s right for you. Remember to get an insulated bag (with or without an ice pack) for your expressed milk as well.

Has It Been A Year Already?!

Yes it has… it has actually been 14 months, which brings me to my first observation on how we communicate ‘baby age’.

I used to be and maybe still am of the opinion that once a baby turns 1, she is 1… until she’s 2. Most, however, represent their kid’s age in number of umpteen months. This especially drives me crazy when the kid is approaching 36months! It’s not a car lease! I have learned that the reason we continue to ‘count months’ has to do with developmental milestones. It sort of matters if a baby is just over 1 year old or 1.5 or closer to 2 as far as hitting certain milestones like crawling, walking, teething, forming ‘Play-Doh ’ poops etc…

I digress… In what appears to be a blink of an eye, with the exceptions of many sleepless nights and my new ability to hear the crackle of a baby monitor within 50ft, my baby turned 1 year old. Let me say that again, because some of you reading this may be just beginning your journey and 1 year may seem like a long time…. it’s not. In 1 year Alejandra went from being a defenseless, dependent, relatively still human bundle of joy to an opinionated, mobile, sweet and demanding little person. How did it happen?! Purposefully.

See… kids pick up on everything. Let me say that again: kids pick up on everything. This is both amazing and scary at the same time.

Let me explain:

In Alejandra’s box of squares, triangles and stars, which she is supposed to learn the shapes and fit them through the lid, there lies a wine cork. Yes, it is a necessity around my house, and she loves playing with it (under supervision, of course.) So, she’s playing with this wine cork, and I see that she’s putting it close to her mouth, but not quite biting it like she does most other things. I didn’t think much of it the first few times… Then it hit me. I’m always putting on lip balm, and she was too! This is what I am talking about, Willis! (80's pop-culture reference: look it up).

Thumb: to suck or not to suck (As told in Three Acts)

Article first published as Thumb Sucking: Good or Bad (as Told in 3 Acts) on Technorati.

 

Thumbs up for thumb sucking! 

Is thumb sucking good or bad? The answer is not "bad". Recent research has shown no residual negative effects (dental or emotional) in those children who stop by age five. According to Heidi Murkoff author of What to Expect the First Year, 95% of children abandon the habit on their own before entering school. Any parent who finds that thumb sucking allows for a few moments of peace and quiet or the ability for a baby to fall back to sleep on her own would say it was more than good. Others might consider it neutral.

In my family, thumb sucking has come to represent a three generation Greek tragedy with irony and plot twists, like Oedipus and Antigone.

My mom was the second of eight children and the oldest girl. She and her older brother sucked their thumbs, not just as babies but into their school years. For my mom, at least, it led to teasing and pushed out her front teeth. As a young adult, she went to an oral surgeon to have her teeth fixed. Unfortunately, the inexperienced surgeon did a poor job and dental problems have plagued her for over forty years. Subsequent problems have required more surgery, braces and additional periodontal work. After four decades of problems, the shoddy work eventually led to some tooth loss and replacement.

After her experience with thumb sucking, my mother was committed to the idea that her son would never suck his thumb. She vowed to do everything in her power to prevent that. I believe she used the baby socks on thumb method. This would not work on my son, who continually takes his socks of and puts them in his own mouth.  It must have worked on me, because I have no memories or pictures of me sucking my thumb. I was led to believe that anyone who sucked their thumb would mess up their teeth and need braces. Whew, dodged that bullet. However, around the age of 15, it was decided (not by me) that I needed braces for of all things an under-bite (the irony). So after several years and thousands of dollars, eh.

Growing out of Baby Memories

At eight months old and 18 lbs my son is growing out of memories.  I'll explain.

Since Clark is almost nine months, I've been rummaging through his collection of clothes that he doesn't fit into yet, taking out the long sleeves (it's winter here) and 12 mos and 9-12 mos clothes.  Then I packed away the 6 mos and 3-6 mos that don't fit or he hasn't worn in a while.  The last part was the sad one for me.  The majority of Clark's 3-6 mos clothes are onesies with cute cute animals or saying on them, like "Mommy's Alarm Clock," "Daddy's Fishing Buddy," and "My Dad is King of the Grill."  He's worn them most of his life, they are emblematic of his childhood so far (at least to me).

Most children's clothing manufacturers have seasonal runs.  They print designs or patterns for one season  or shorter.  So I probably couldn't find those same onesies in his size now if i tried.  So memories in those clothes are set and done. On to his next stage of life.

Recently, Clark learned to stand up and hold on to his crib, which is fine.  However, he extended that to the ability to stand in his crib, reach up and pull down his mobile.  That being a hazard means I had to take down the mobile. That mobile was hanging from his crib before he was even born.  He's loved those turtles that hang from his mobile since he came home from the hospital.  It's always been how we put him to sleep.  Those days are officially a wrap.  So little time, so many memories.