Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Can I Have my Baby Now? ... Please!

Keep your eyes on the Catcher
If you've watched any of those "Deliver My Baby Story" type shows on television, you will probably expect your messy, dare I say alien-like* baby to makes his entry into the world and be given directly to his mom to be fawned over.  If so, you are probably going to be very disappointed, like I was. 

In my case, Clark came out and the Catcher** (or OB/GYN) caught him and I got to cut the cord.  The doctor then turned into a QB and handed him off to a nurse, like Drew Brees to Reggie Bush (Update: 07/29/11 - Reggie has taken his talents to South Beach).  Clark was taken to the other side of the room by the nurse Bush, measured (length and head size), weighed (8 lbs. 4 oz.), tested (temperature and baby blood pressure), tagged (ankle bracelets - plural), foot printed and then placed under the baby heat lamp (just like a basket of french fries).

I followed and kept a watchful eye on my baby.  What if they tried to steal him or switch him for another baby (I've probably watched too many movies)?  I stood there watching all of this go on for about 30 agonizing minutes. I wondered the whole time, "Are you going to give me my beautiful baby now?!  How about now?!"  Finally, they gave him to me and I took him over to meet his mommy again for the first time.


          - Clark's Dad


*Yes,  your baby will probably look pretty disgusting upon entering the world.  He or she will be covered in goo and/or white stuff called vernix.   Baby's been in a tight wet place for 9 months, then squeezed out of a fairly narrow exit tunnel.  You'll still love him or her plenty, but don't be surprised if your first thought is "what is that?"

**That's pretty much describes what the OB/GYN does.  She (or he) comes in as the baby is that close to being out.  The OB then puts on his/her equipment, gets into position like Mike Piazza, Carlton Fisk or Jorge Posada (depending on how old you are) and catches the baby as it comes out. My wife, the nurse and I did the rest (I held a leg and cheered my wife on).


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