Don't Let Your Parents Screw Up Your Kids

Grandparents will screw up your kids and then give them back to you to fix.  Um, what's up with that? Everyone accepts that grandparents spoil their grandchildren.  It's expected. I figured this would include too much candy (mostly of the hard variety), cookies, junk food and birthday cake.  Plus, socks and underwear for Christmas (at least that's how it works on TV.)  I had no idea it would turn into a tactical assault on my child rearing efforts.

My son Clark is by most standards a good baby.  He has a very laid back personality.  Not a lot of crying.  It's seems his grandmothers may think he's making it too easy on us as parents, and have taken efforts to make raising him more of a challenge. Perhaps, it's payback for our rebellious adolescent behaviors so long ago. Perhaps, it's to test our parenting chops.

Case in point:

Clark's maternal grandma came to visit a few days after he was born.  It was very nice of her to drive all the way from LA to see the new baby.  She held Clark for about four hours straight (spoiling him) before leaving.  Then, as she put Clark down, because she was about to leave, he began to cry.  She then told us, we had a spoiled baby and shouldn't hold him so much.  Then she left, leaving us with a crying "spoiled" baby.

Insuring Your Baby's Future Can be Expensive

Everyone knows that babies can be expensive.  Various internet and non-internet sources claim that it will cost over $200,000* to raise a child to age 18 (college tuition not included.)  I doubt the costs are linear, but that averages to over $11,000 per year.  Costs like diapers, food, clothing and furniture immediately come to mind, but there are plenty of hefty expenses that you might not have thought of.

How about insurance? Let's start with health insurance.  The additional cost of adding my son, Clark, to my wife's health insurance is about $250/month (plus co-pays).  That's the equivalent of a lot of diapers.  The irony is my wife works for a health insurance company.

Don't forget all the other insurances.  You may not have needed life insurance before you had a child, but it's probably a good idea now.  If you're relatively healthy and in your 30s, a decent policy should run between $30 and $50 per month for each parent (or at least each working parent).   You'll need to choose between whole or term life.  Be careful not to get too much insurance.  You never want to be worth significantly more dead than alive**.

There's also home or renter's insurance.  Before Clark was conceived, I was not that concerned about what a loss of possessions would mean.  However, the thought of him without any toys, crib or baby necessities was/is quite disturbing.  So now I need to add renter's insurance.  That's another $30 a month.  I'm also wondering if I need to increase my auto insurance policy now that he's in the car. You know, just in case.  That all adds up to a lot of "just in case money" each month.  To quote "The Homeboys" from In Living Color, "Mo money, mo money, mo money!"

The Downside of My Baby Sleeping Through the Night

Every sleep deprived parent dreams of the day their child will sleep through the night. However, so far it's not exactly how I imagined it would be. Until recently, my wife was waking up every two hours during the night to feed our big, hungry, growing baby boy.  She hasn't slept through the night since labor pains first began.  Wondering when our son Clark would finally sleep through the night has been the subject of many conversations and internet searches.

A few days ago, I came across a copy of American Baby magazine from a couple of months ago (May) in the growing magazine pile on my coffee table.  I found gold on page 55, an article by Cara Birnbaum, titled Goodnight Nobody.  Unfortunately, the article isn't available on the magazine's website (or I'd share it with you).  What I learned from the article is that there is something called the "Drowsiness Window."  The article suggested that babies are programmed to fall asleep for the night within this window.  However, this window starts early, like before you get home from work early (5-7 PM) .  According to the article, if you miss the "Drowsiness Window" your baby will start to produce "stimulating chemicals" which will make it much more difficult for him to fall asleep later.

It was suggested that a 7 PM to 7 AM night of sleep was quite feasible for a 12 week old.  Well, it worked.  Mostly.  Clark isn't sleeping through the entire night. We put him to sleep at 7 PM. My wife tops him off before she goes to sleep (10:30).  He wakes up to eat at 2 AM and then my wife feeds him again at 6 AM before going to work.

We, and by we I mean my wife, now only have to wake up once during the night instead of 3-4 times.  This will probably be down to zero by the time he turns 4 months.  So, what's the problem?

Baby Furniture Wars: the Basics (Crib, Dresser and the Glider)

Alejandra's Dad has joined the Baby Furniture Wars Series:

Unless you live in a 5,000 SF mansion adding a new baby to your household comes with a certain amount of displacement. If you're not sure what 'displacement' means; think of a full glass of water... in order to add another drop, some water has to spill over the side. In my case, my stuff spilled out of the house and into boxes in the garage.

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There are 3 key furniture pieces necessary for a baby's room. They are a crib, dresser and glider. (Sure, you can have more .. but these are the essentials and the ones that you'll have to negotiate into a standard room.)

Crib:

Choices - New or Used? Drop side or not?

We opted for a hand-me-down crib. I figured any piece of furniture that has survived the upbringing of another child, would survive mine. Plus, the price was right. The biggest issue with the hand-me-down crib was the 'drop-down' side which apparently was designed with the best intentions in mind for ease of loading and unloading of a baby into the crib without sacrificing your lower ribs in the process (assuming you haven't had your bottom two ribs removed for 'professional' purposes).

Leaning over a crib may be a bit uncomfortable; however, you may want to take this opportunity to start training for you new role as caregiver by easing up on the cheeseburgers and maybe one less six-pack per week and maybe try lifting up a bag of groceries a few times. This will get you in prime shape for lifting a baby from the crib and may buy you a year or two to see your kid graduate college or maybe get married. Practically speaking, having to lean over a normal crib height side railing is not the end of the world. It helps that when your baby is a few weeks old and ready to graduate from the bassinet to the crib the mattress height will be closer to the top of the railing so you don't have to lean as far.

Baby Furniture Wars: Mobiles (Wind Up vs. Battery Operated)

This is a continuation of our series on Baby Furniture Wars.  If you've made the decision of Playard vs. Crib and chosen playard, you are probably going to want to look into getting a compatible mobile that spins without you standing there all day.  This is my story:

Clark usually sleeps in his Graco Pack 'n Play playard. It came with a mobile.  Three plush (pastel green) turtles hang from the mobile.  Clark has loved those turtles every since he came home from the hospital, especially when they spin.  I can't stand there all day and spin the mobile, even if that's what Clark would prefer. It took me a few weeks, but I realized we needed a mobile that spun on its own.  Such a thing has to exist for a playard, I can't be the first one to think of this.

Babies 'R Us (BRU) would have had an easy sale had they made me aware of the existence of such a product for our playard at the time we bought it.  I was left to my own parental devices to discover the need for a self propelled/spinning mobile and to find a suitable mobile to address the problem.  I did an internet search and found mostly products that were no longer being sold.  I finally found exactly ONE product that fit the description and was available for sale online, the Tiny Love Take-Along Mobile.  Internet rumors abounded about OEM models, but I couldn't find any available for sale online.

My next step was to head out to Toys 'R Us (TRU) because their website sold that mobile model online.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find it at my local TRU or BRU stores, though they sold other models by the same manufacture. It was rather frustrating.  I purchased Clark's playard from BRU.  They sell hundreds, if not thousands, per month.  How could they not carry a moving mobiles designed for them? I couldn't be the only who wanted one.

Product Review: Tiny Love Take-Along Mobile

My experience with the Take-Along Mobile was directly related to my need for a self-spinning mobile for my PNP playard.

Review: Tiny Love Take-Along Mobile

Standing next to Clark's playard and spinning the mobile was getting tired.  I realized I needed a mobile that spun on its own.  I couldn't be the first one to recognize their playard needed a self-propelled mobile.  So I looked for a solution online. To my surprise, solutions were far and few in between.  Most were for products that could no longer be found in-stock anywhere.

To make a long story short, if you want a battery operated* mobile compatible with your playard, there is only one choice: the Take-Along Mobile from Tiny Love.  I looked all over the internet for alternatives with no success.  In fact neither BRU or any of the big box stores carry that model.  Online seems to be the only option, but feel free to check around. 

 Update: 07/30/2011 - on a recent trip to BRU, I noticed that they now carry this mobile in the store.

Pros:

• It's basically the only option for a battery powered mobile for a playard.
• It's compatible for not only playards and traditional cribs, but also some infant carrier/car seats and strollers

Dear Dads, You're Gonna Cry Like a Bitch

It is just another example of how fatherhood differs from how it is portrayed on TV and in movies.  If you're about to be a dad, especially for the first time, you are going to be standing there one moment (probably counting or yelling push) and the next thing you know there will be tears rolling down your eyes.  A new life will enter the world and your tear ducts will drain.  You might not see it coming.  You won't be able to hide it or hold it back.  It's going to happen, so don't be surprised.  I was.  No one told me this ahead of time.

Don't get upset.  It's O.K.  It would be more likely something was wrong if you didn't cry.  Not to be irreverent, but I assume the emotion is similar to what God must have felt after he created the World and it was good.

For how He must may have felt the day after watch  The Simpsons - Tree House of Horror VII: Genesis Tub (Season 8: Episode 1) in which Lisa created life and had to deal with the consequences.  The Simpsons nerds out there know what I'm talking about.

     - Clark's Dad

Baby Furniture Wars: Cribs vs Playards vs. Bassinets

During the process of nesting, when moms and dads are furnishing and decorating the living space for their new baby, one decision parents must make is what will the baby sleep in.  Some parents choose the traditional baby crib with its furniture like feel and weight.  Others choose a playard/travel crib, a bassinet or simply place the baby into the parents' bed.  Some babies even wind up sleeping in swings and rockers.  However, for most parents it comes down to a decision between crib, playard or bassinet.

I actually know a family who owns all three baby sleeping devices, but my guess is that's rare.  Here is a comparison of those three choices (in alphabetical order).  There is no choice that's perfect for everyone, so each parent will need to make their own final decision.

Bassinet:

Size: small, about half the size of a traditional crib.  They tend to be very cozy and provide an intimate feel for the baby.  Unfortunately, because of the small size babies often outgrow the bassinet by 3 months of age and parents are once again in the market for something for their baby to sleep in at night.

Features:  they rock - literally.  You can rock your baby to sleep in one.

Price:  about half the price of a traditional crib.

Product Review: Graco Pack 'n Play Playard (Dempsey)

This purchases was the result of the my Crib vs. Playard decision.

Review: Graco Pack 'n Play Playard (Dempsey)

The Graco Pack 'n Play (or PNP) Playard is a hybrid.  Playards are generally hybrids of a crib and a play pen.  The PNP (Dempsey) is a quadruple threat: it is a combination of a crib, play pen, changing station and storage bins.  It also folds up easily for travel.  In my opinion the Graco PNP is the RAZR.  It's the best product for the money.  The comparable or alternative is to pay for a dresser, a changing station, baby crib, a mattress, bumpers, a mobile, a play pen, and a travel crib. The PNP is an excellent choice, even more so if you are short on space or cash.

Features:

• The Crib:
• a good alternative to purchasing a traditional crib.  There are two levels for the mattress, which can be adjusted as the baby gets bigger or is able to stand up.  
• The mattress is a good compromise between soft and firm.  
• When the "mattress" is at its highest level, there is a two-by-two storage area consisting of four cubbyholes.
• Can easily be moved from room to room, unlike a traditional crib that would require substantial disassembly and reassembly

• Changing Table:
• Comes with a space-saving baby changing attachment.  
• However, short on space there is no easily accessible place for baby changing necessities like wipes and diapers.  
• Only holds up to 20 lbs.

• Travel Crib: 
• Easily folds up into a   30" x 10" x 10" travel case. 
• You could break this thing down and fold it up in under a minute.

• Mobile:
• Comes with a mobile (three turtles) that spins (manually) and attaches quite well to the side of the playard.